Alone

[Takamei Edevane]

The world seems so empty to me... nothing to look forward to except for the day I meet someone special. Somebody who cares about me. I've become disliked by so many people now. I have a few good friends. But what are they to me? What am I to them? They see me as a good, trusted friend. But they won't stick up for me when people bully me. I understand why they wouldn't want to get involved. The day goes quick for me. Just want to get back home. There's nothing for me at school. Nobody will talk to me. I just sit... and listen to peoples conversations. Their lives are filled with so many things to do, so many people to hang out with. And I have nothing. I can't even have a family day out. Everybody else has a Mum to come back to. All I have is a Father. And I don't like him much. Don't know why. Just do. He makes me go to Explorers. I just sit there, hiding behind my hair. Its difficult being myself. I remember when I was 13 years of age, my Mum would make pizza, and we would have a family dinner. And Christmas... I never felt the same at Christmas. The feeling of excitement just faded. Everyone else has stayed the same but I've changed. I just feel so lonely. I need someone to be there for me. But no one will. I fear I will become crazy, I fear that I am crazy. I scream at home when I'm alone. I laugh at random times with no reason. I cry when I realise I'm alone. I don't know what I am asking. I just need to let someone know.

[Tom Cat]

Being alone is certainly a tough thing to deal with. Especially when you feel so different from all of the people around you. Some people prefer simple, casual relationships with friends and family while others long for more. It seems as though you're the type who wants a deeper connection with the people around you, but those people would prefer to keep everything simple. I've certainly seen this before, dealt with it personally. Sometimes you can't just expect those close personal relationships to come smack you in the face, but rather, you have to search for them. I would assume, maybe, that that's why you're here on this forum, right? From what I've experienced, this community is very friendly as a whole. And personally, I would like to let you know that, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me. Sounds like you would also benefit from somebody who is willing to listen.

[Takamei Edevane]

Thanks Tom Cat, I would really appreciate that. And yeah the furry community is very friendly, and that to me is a very comforting thought. It acts as a safety net. Somewhere to go.

[Tom Cat]

No problem! It is a very friendly community. I'm sure plenty of people would provide you with that closeness you are seeking. Furthermore, you could try to become closer to your few good friends you have. ^^ Sometimes some people take a little bit of prodding before they're willing to open up and come closer.

[NovaAurora]

Alchiba, as long as this forum and our community exists, you'll never be alone. I've only been on the forum for a week and a half, and in that time I've talked with as many funny, inspiring, interesting, understanding, and just plain nice people as I ever have in all my 4 years in high school.


I'm a lot like you. I prefer to have friends who really care and will stand by me at all times, which is why IRL I have very, very few. All my life people have criticized me for not having tons of friends, and for speaking out when others stay silent because it's "too disruptive." By now I've alienated myself from most other people my age, and of course I wonder if I'll ever find someone who really is that special someone and not just a poser trying to get my attention.


Now that I'm involved with the fandom, I have no doubt that someone like that actually exists. So many people here care, are willing to listen, are willing to share their opinions with you if you ask. I've never found a group of people quite like it before. Stay with us for a while, and I'm willing to bet you'll start feeling at least a little better.


I'll be happy to listen to anything else you want to say or ask, so please don't hesitate to PM me if you want someone to listen to you one-on-one. I hope you find solace in this forum and in the community, and that things start looking up for you soon.


P.S.
You're not crazy at all.

[Takamei Edevane]

Thank you, for your kind and reassuring words. I should get more involved in this community.

[Tom Cat]

You should, without a doubt. I've met nothing but kind people. I'm trying to get more involved, too, actually.

[Scout the Fox]

Well then you've come to the right place  . This fandom AND this forum are meant for people like you and I to make friends and have a good time. So far, this forum is my favorite place to visit like ever.
I too have the same problem as you do. Ever since I became a furry, my friends and even my family have sort of been ignoring me or making fun of me because of what I like to do. I have lost a couple of friends in the process. I am also alone all the time with a single mother that works two jobs. Believe me, it's not fun to just sit here and not be able to see anyone. That's when you have to reach out to others by other means. So feel free to PM me. I could use some friends too. 

[NovaAurora]

Aww Scout, that sounds dreadful!    Friends have actually left you because of being a furry?! I'll be happy to provide you with as many pets as you want!   

[Scout the Fox]

Well I wouldn't really say "lost" them, more like they don't talk to me about anything else but the fandom anymore. And it's only in a negative way. So it's almost like losing them.

[Byracka]

There are alot of people who are looking for deeper relationships, may it be both physical and emotional. Sometimes it's enough to just show an open hand in need. You did something great here, when you actually spoke about your worries and desires, and see how many that are willing to lend a hand! Don't be afraid to send a message to those that asks you to, it can very possibly lead to (and I'm talking of personal experience) daily chatting, video conversations, birthday presents and face to face meetings.


I've met two of the most beloved people to me much in the same way as you are doing now, one of them which I've ended up meeingt in person. So don't hesitate to be the match that puts fire in the relationship.

[Zane the Fox]

 I truly understand of being alone as well. I’m a HOH, Hard-Of-Hearing but very close to fully deaf. And as to the being deaf, a lot of people that I grew up in school saw me a stupid kid and many names that I wouldn’t say. Over time, I become so much a loner that I don’t even have one friend that I can say a close friend as few try to be a friend only to betray me. And as to so, I have a hard time to trust people and even scared of them. Hell, I don’t even know how to make friend in person and even talk to new people. While I’m a loner, I’m also very wild person and some people told me that I was too extreme, I learn one thing is that I didn’t even care what people thought of me after a while. But all in all, I do know what one person like you that deal with aloneness goes through. If you want, pm me and/or buddy me up.

[Takamei Edevane]

Thats terrible    I cant believe your being treated like that. My grandfather is almost completely deaf, if it wasn't for his hearing aid he wouldn't hear a thing. Not even a gunshot next to him. So I have an idea of how hard it is to have conversations with other people, and how others can find it frustrating or not understand . Its a difficult life.

[Duke]

It is difficult. I used to be the nicest person and just so out there. Bullying and being alone has turned me into a giant douchbag wo doesn't care anymore. And honestly, I've never been happier. I tell the haters to screw off and just be so bitter and turn what they say to me against them. People don't mess with me anymore. Even the teacher stopped calling on me. He knows I HATE him too. One day he said I was a lonely emo kid. I didn't sink in my seat I got up and laughed at him and sai "do you see any cuts on my wrists? You don't even know who an emo person is and that shows how stupid and inconsiderate you really are. I have long hair to hide the stitches from my skin cancer surgery on the back of my head. -laughs a bit more- I'm lonely because I choose to be. Because I don't surround myself with stupid imbeciles like you and this class. You can judge me all you want but I will fight back. I don't care if your a teacher and I'm a student, we are both people."
Then I sat down. I was prepared to be sent out of the class but I think he was smart enough to  see that he would not win that battle.

Anyways. I'm not saying be bitter, but I'm saying find yourself, and if you know yourself, you won't be lonely because you will know what you want and figure put the right way to get it.

I reviewed my life from beginning to end. Bad outweighed the good times. But you know what? I survived. So I believe it made me stronger. Therefore - I take no sh*t. Because that is who I am.

So find yourself. If you ever want to vent one on one PM me. If you ever want advice as well PM me. I told you one of my stories in hopes you can learn to not be lonely. You just gotta wake up every morning and say "someone out there cares for me" and that will be this community. You should get more involved.

[Armalite_]

Buddddddy, you gotta change your outlook on life, bro. I can tell all you want is someone special, but it's no use getting upset and feeling bad about it to change the situation. You need to try being more proactive. Be happy even when you're not. Practice smiling man, it sounds stupid but it actually really helps. There was a point where I had hit rock bottom. I suffered from addiction, my family was falling apart, and I didn't know what to do at this point since I already had a girlfriend who only made things WAY worse. But that's also because my whole life, I had trouble letting go of anger and things/people who pissed me off to the point where I had to see a shrink.  But that's also life man. If you lie down people will always be there to step on you, if you run with the crowd, be social, and live your life as a hard achiever, people will ALWAYS be there to help you and respect you.


I'm not going to give you a run down of all the crap I had to learn the hard way by being awkward, young, and stupid but I firmly believe that anyone's opinion of helping you (including my own) can offer you little help (seeing this is only a message from some dude on the internet). It is up to you, my man, to seek out the person you connect with, to take steps toward finding your own happiness and strength and to do whatever you believe you need to do.


You're not alone, bro. It seems like it but you're not. There's always someone in a worse off position than you are who I've met and they're amazing people capable of doing amazing things. I've seen what a damaged heart is capable of. I believe you can do it, Alchiba. It takes action, time, and energy but don't be so quick to rush into what life throws at you. It will come on it's own time, believe me.