Himawari sighed and repositioned herself. She was still sitting, but instead of on her knees, she spawled her legs in front of her and folded them, still leaning with her back against the wall.
She streched her arms and looked at Nova.
"Remember outside? When you... rescued me?" She reluctanlty said 'rescued' because she wasn't used to getting rescued at all.
"I don't know how else to say this, so I'm just going to say it as best I can. I don't understand it myself, but..." She paused for a second to build up the courage.
"Just after the meteors hit earth, I blackedout. Instead of changing into one of those monsters outside, I.. don't know how, but... I can sense them when they are near me or coming towards me. And sometimes... I feel the need to join them in one way or another. I cannot controll my body anymore. I just go numb and my vision blurrs. I had a similair experience some time ago, luckily someone else was able to save me too by chance. But it was worse than how it was now. I was actually about to attack that person. He took out the nearby Consumers and somehow that regained my consciousness. It felt like... I was one of them. I did not think about anything. Everything that lived, that moved, was a possible target. I had to... devour and consume, how ironic that last may sound. My vocabulary did not exist anymore, just one thought: consume. It was terrifying, yet at that time, in that moment... I enjoyed it. That terrifies me the most afterwards.
After that person destroyed the Consumers nearby and I regained the ability to think again and act normally, I actually had to have some short of rehabilitation. For a whole week I could not speak normal human words, just sounds, growls, etcetra. I was hungry all the time, at first, even still for human flesh. My dreams were nightmares and I was constantly plagued by becoming part of a whole again, becoming.. returning to them. In the begining of the dream I was scared, but a voice told me it was allright. When it went further, it scared me, but I couldn't escape. Well, untill I woke up of course."
Himawari felt a weight drop off of her. But now she was worried of what Nova might think or do to her, now that he knew what was really 'wrong' with her.