The Furry Forums would like to place cookies on your computer to help us make this website better. To find out more about the cookies, see our privacy notice.
To accept the cookie click here, or please login or register.

Author Topic: Silhouette, a dystopian short story  (Read 1124 times)

0 Members and 0 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline NovaAurora

  • Jovial Jaguar
  • ******
  • awards This user has been a forum member for over 10 years This user has donated to the forum. This user has donated more than $50 to the forum.
  • Posts: 861
  • Gender: Male
  • May the FURS be with you!
    • Skype
    • Steam
    • Awards
  • Species: Mostly wolf, part dragon
  • Coloring: Dark and light gray, with black streaks and dark blue extremities.
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 200 lbs
  • Build: Long and lanky, muscular but not bulging.
  • Currently: PC gaming... FINALLY!!
Silhouette, a dystopian short story
« on: March 11, 2013, 08:40:15 PM »
Recently I took a class on dystopian literature, and for our final projects one of the options was to write our own dystopian short story, influenced by the books we read and 4 other sources from media of our choosing. I decided to do so, even though I'd never written a real short story before, and wound up doubling the length requirement for the assignment because I came up with so much. However, the teacher loved it and I have to say I'm pretty proud of it myself for a first attempt, so I've decided to post it here. It is titled Silhouette, and if you make it all the way through, I'd really appreciate any comments/feedback you have for me! Thanks!  :D


--------------------------
    Legs churning, heart racing. Sounds of the Chasers behind. Sirens well over 150 decibels catching up and hurting but powerless to kill. The odds of capture are high. Perhaps 1.25:1. But the odds of success do not dissuade. Estimating now at 3:1. It’s enough. Keep running, keep running, avoid becoming boxed in, analyze the pursuers’ sound patterns, make them take the most difficult route, and the destination can be reached. Then the answer will be revealed, all answers revealed, and then…
***
           
Tannec walked as leisurely as he always did home from school. Through the East Perimeter park was his preferred route, as there were more trees and grass and scurrying critters there than anywhere in the rest of Dome 12. Before the Great Calamity a century ago these kinds of environments had apparently existed everywhere, even in the old Los Angeles, but as everyone knew they were sacrificed along with the open sky to ensure Proper humanity’s survival. No one remembered them now, and no one cared either. From the earliest days of schooling it was taught that they didn’t matter, even if their details could be recalled, because they didn’t exist anymore. Now a nearly fully learned 17 year old, such things were of no concern or curiosity to Tannec. He simply enjoyed being among the leaves and wood and dirt, even if he couldn’t pinpoint why.
Running alongside and about 30 meters or so away from the walking path was the large fence that separated the entire habitable portion of the dome from the great artificial canal that encircled it. Through it you could gaze over the steep cement walls and down into endlessly circling water below, which all of the city owed its continued existence to. Beyond that still, on the far concrete bank, rose the metallic black and gray Shield Inception Wall. Towering ten meters above the ground and filled with all manner of electronics and circuitry, it projected the opaque and glowing barrier high into the air over the city where it kept the entire population safe from the heat of the world. Gigantic pointed struts were spaced periodically along the wall, curving with the plasma-electric flow and groping the sky like talons. Through them the energy could be relayed and directed to form the perfect semi-sphere of the shield, controllable and uniform.
Today, however, something was happening. Tannec noticed just before he was about to turn out of the park and head for his home in the Eastern quadrant. An official looking maintenance crew, dressed from head to toe in protective life support gear, was performing some kind of work on a whole section of the wall and Tannec was drawn through the trees out of interest to watch. He peered through the fence and across the gaping expanse of the canal to observe the workers setting up a kind of temporary portable energy barrier, as they were evidently getting ready to detach their portion of the massive encirclement completely, leaving that area open to the outside world. They had it prepared to slide right in as soon as the section of wall was removed, and Tannec watched eagerly as they began the process. It was quick, smooth, and efficient, and within seconds the shield was restored by virtue of the temporary barrier. But as they latched the final holding clip in place it started fizzling, flashing on and off in random bursts before shutting down totally.
Suddenly the carefully controlled dome climate was exposed to the wasteland of the California desert, all sand and rocks and dead plants, as everyone had known it to always be. The red methane sky above the desert clashed sharply with the vibrant, glowing blue hue of the shield as the workers all scrambled to the sides of the gaping hole, trying desperately to fix whatever electronic error was at fault here. Tannec gasped and jumped back but could not tear his eyes away- so few civilians ever got to see the dreaded outside world. It was where the Improper humans were rumored to still live, the ones who had decided to forgo implants and Temporex and the protective dome-cities, the ones who had forced the Calamity on everyone and ultimately, but so foolishly, forced eradication on all the life they had sworn to protect. Tannec started to turn away, intending to forget such forbidden angry thoughts and leave the problem up to the technicians. But something caught his attention again. A silhouette against the sand beyond the shield, it moved into the gap and stood there, framed in electric blue against the crimson desert. Tannec had never seen anything like it. The shape was like the domestic dogs he was very familiar with, but with too pointed a muzzle and too muscular legs, with a majestic tail flowing gently in the burning air behind it. It turned its head slowly towards the city, and in its eyes reflected the great shining sky of the dome. They pierced Tannec like knives as they seemed to accuse him of some unknown crime, but such an extraordinary creature was impossible! There was no life in the desert. It was common knowledge. The Improper humans had destroyed it all with the coming of the Calamity. Before Tannec could make sense of it, the technicians succeeded in restoring the portable shield section, and the… creature… was gone. He stood there motionless, seeing nothing but the two blazing orbs of that shadowy being, impaling his consciousness. 
***
High in the central city tower they sat, the seven figures arranged in a circle, backs to the massive glass wall overlooking the city.
“The problem is apparent. The solution is not.”
“His mother reported that he might have seen what could only have been one of those wild beasts that still linger in the sands. The solution is obvious. Order an increase in his daily Temporex dose and make him forget. It is only through neurological synapses that the image remains in his mind, and they of course can be broken.”
“Temporex was not meant to annihilate individual memories. There’s nothing so powerful. It was only meant to prevent the long-term retention of potentially dangerous experiences.
“He cannot be allowed to continue with this knowledge! If the public knew they would ask questions, and if they ask questions-”
“Calm yourself. No one will know anything. Perhaps he is the perfect subject for our new experiment.”
“We all know that further testing has to be done. Exposing someone to not just the full regiment of implants, but an accelerated one, four years before the body is ready could be disastrous!”
“Or miraculous.”
“Can we possibly risk that?”
“Do we have a choice?”
“…Fine. Contact his household. He will be brought in tomorrow and operated on.” 
 
***
Hiding isn’t an option. Always being tracked, the universal biochip ensures that. They know but can’t keep up through the alleyways. Almost through the quadrant now, soon the park will present itself. The mathematical analysis says interception there is eventually inevitable. Acceptable. Possessed physical capabilities are adequate to achieve the objective in time. The park is in view. Keep running…
 
***
Tannec awoke the next morning to darkness. Through his single square window he could see that the dome shield had yet to transform from its mildly luminescent midnight blue form into the bright sky-mimicking form of the daylight hours. His mother stood over him and looked at him patiently, waiting for him to regain full consciousness. He rubbed his eyes and looked at her quizzically. “Why are you waking me up now? The shield is dark yet.”
“The Supreme Council has ordered you in for a special operation. You are to arrive at their facility in precisely one hour.” Her facial expression enhancement implants allowed her to smile as warmly as she always did while she said this, a continuous façade of contentedness.
“They wish to punish me for… what I saw yesterday. Don’t they, mother?” Tannec lowered his gaze. “Can I not simply take more Temporex and rid myself of this evil that way?”
“They ordered that you take no more of it. You are to be implanted today, you see. With a special kind of implant that will help you purge yourself, and make you even smarter in the process.”
Tannec was confused. No one was implanted, even with the basic universal neurological biochip, until they were exactly 21. The growing, flexing body and mind could not handle it. Until then there was Temporex, ingested daily, to protect you from unnecessary harmful recollections of the past.
“But will that not hurt me?” he questioned. “I am four years too young yet.”
“The Council has made their decision. And as you know, they are more enlightened than any of us can dream to be.”
“Yes mother… but…”
The image came again, as it had all the previous day. Piercing, burning eyes. Unearthly as anything he could imagine. A life form of the desert? He realized with a start what he was doing.
“They are right. I cannot think like this. It is only harming me.”
Tannec watched as she simply nodded once and left his room.
 
***
“I was informed that the experimental implant was successfully installed.”
“How long until we know if it works?”
“There’s no way to tell.”
“But his brain functions can still be monitored, correct?”
“All of his data will be constantly streamed to our central neuroserver like everybody else’s.”
“How will we even tell when it has worked? The purpose of this chip is to drastically increase other intellectual functions and aggressively overwhelm the designated synapses. There will be so much information we will never be able to sift through it in time to prevent an incident should one be imminent.”
“We had no other choice! We cannot afford to wait four years with that memory so fully formed in his mind.”
“And even if he did make it until then, the regular biochips work on the assumption that Temporex has already eradicated those powerful early-life experiences over time. This is the most dramatic case of neurological corruption perhaps in history. Temporex was not, could not have been, designed to handle this.”
“How is it that this could have happened? How could he have been so lucky as to witness such an event, at such an inconvenient stage of life?”
“Directionless anger is pointless. All that matters is that it occurred.”
“Why don’t we just kill him? Send a Chaser and end it.”
“That would be excessively reckless. People would question why a person of such age was executed when it is at his age that the mind is finally beginning to stabilize. Besides, this is perhaps a chance at great scientific progress.”
“If it does what we think it will do.” 
“He will be watched. Closely.”

(Continued in next post)
 
  • Avatar by: Ventus Fall :D

~*Airforce Fleet commander*~
We fight, we recruit, we are the anthropomorphic army. FDF forever!

Come raise your lantern to the sky
And let's illuminate this night
We'll dance like heathens
Around the flames
And while the world sleeps
WE ARE AWAKE!

Offline NovaAurora

  • Jovial Jaguar
  • ******
  • awards This user has been a forum member for over 10 years This user has donated to the forum. This user has donated more than $50 to the forum.
  • Posts: 861
  • Gender: Male
  • May the FURS be with you!
    • Skype
    • Steam
    • Awards
  • Species: Mostly wolf, part dragon
  • Coloring: Dark and light gray, with black streaks and dark blue extremities.
  • Height: 6'2"
  • Weight: 200 lbs
  • Build: Long and lanky, muscular but not bulging.
  • Currently: PC gaming... FINALLY!!
Re: Silhouette, a dystopian short story
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2013, 08:40:44 PM »
   
***
Exiting the protection of the city. Into the park, and estimates were correct. At least a 10.48 second lead on the nearest Chaser. The burden becomes heavy. While carrying it underarm is a detriment, construction of it had been easy. The chip did everything, all the analysis itself. The result was essentially a battery, made from apparently innocuous components. But the chip knew more than people did. Forcefully held in place against the shield to avoid a violent repulsion, the device would absorb the plasma-electric energy. In a matter of 3.73-4.15 seconds it would release it again in reverse. The resulting chain reaction along the Shield Inception Wall would deactivate and cripple the shield almost instantly. If the device was jostled or could not be kept in position, the shock would also incinerate him simultaneously. The Chasers are in the park. The fence is in view.
 
***
Tannec’s eyes slowly opened. He was alone in a closed room, and all around him was perfectly sanitized white, white, white. The inside of the recovery ward, obviously. So that indicated that the experimental new universal chip was inside and operating successfully. He knew that this meant he was forever connected to the almighty Supreme Council, not just like the regular adult population, but in a special and unique way that no one else was. A strange feeling of pride arose within him and he smiled sleepily. Before he could doze off again, however, a doctor garbed in what else but blinding white opened the door and walked over to Tannec’s bedside.
“So, our little pioneer is awake.” He said with an obviously enhanced grin.
Tannec made a small, satisfied noise of affirmation and waited for the man to continue.
“There are some things you should know right away. The first of which is that, like regular people, now that you are implanted you can select additional physical implants and augmentations to enhance yourself with. However, unlike regular people, you have the capacity to select three instead of two. A, shall we say, special bonus that comes with your implant.”
Tannec listened with intrigue as everything else was explained to him. He was to be taken out of standard school immediately and given access to only the highest learning materials, something which he questioned the possibility of but was assured was going to work out fine. Forever would he be a faster and better thinker than any of his peers could dream of being. There seemed to be no downsides to it at all, a somewhat suspicious fact that compelled Tannec to question the doctor.
“I must admit that this all sounds wonderful,” he said, “but is this not being forced upon me because I saw that thing outside the dome? I would expect significant negative repercussions, not the reward of supreme intelligence…”
The doctor’s tailored smile darkened and his brow furrowed slightly.
“That is none of your concern, young… Tannec is it? No harm is intended in any of this. Remember, the Supreme Council is even more intelligent than you will be. They have always guided us since the Calamity and you must have faith in them.”
His smirk returned.
The doctor was, of course, correct. Tannec pressed the issue no further and at the doctor’s prompting instead turned his mind to which enhancements he desired.
Eventually he selected aural implants that could boost and locate the source of any noises at will, muscle stimulators for his legs that would give him much greater endurance over long distances, and tendon enforcers for his hands that provided him with a powerful and sure grip on any surface. It was a more than a week of recovery time before he was allowed to exit the medical facility after having all of his augmentations installed. In that time, though, he was introduced to his new and advanced curriculum and had more than enough time to immerse himself in it.
Tannec’s mind constantly swam with new facts about every topic he could imagine, until it felt as if the information was nothing but a crushing weight on his conscience. He learned all about the Calamity and the century since: How Proper humanity had been making more progress than ever, but there were many who claimed that the advancements were destroying the planet. It didn’t matter how much the Propers proved that all the so-called “dirty” technology would be phased out soon enough by more advanced things like dome tech; the Impropers insisted it wasn’t soon enough. They waged a preemptive war against civilization, and the days grew hotter and the storms grew stronger as Proper humanity was forced to utilize everything at their disposal, old and new. As the tundra melted and the skies began to burn, mushroom clouds rose above every country and the Great Calamity was born. Billions were wiped off the face of the Earth, but in the end it was the Propers that prevailed, with virtually all of Improper humanity reduced to dust.
The victors built up what they had left to protect themselves from the heat and the wind and the radiation. A new world order was established, and technology allowed for Proper humanity to continue their self-assisted evolution all within the safe confines of the domed cities. The implants and Temporex ensured that. No one remembered anything before the Calamity, and no one had to. It was pointless to maintain any connection, no matter how small, to the disgusting Impropers who had destroyed the world the Propers had worked so hard to create. Now there was nothing but peaceful bliss, a new world that promised a future free of unnecessary imperfections and reminders of the past.
Tannec absorbed this and much more with no trouble. Eventually he could go a full day without seeing those flaming blue eyes in that flowing black shape, but never did they fade completely. He studied harder. More advanced mathematics and theories. Anything to purge himself.
 
***
 
“They have reduced significantly, but he is having visions of the creature.”
“So some progress is, at the least, being made then?”
“So far it has been. But he has just passed the threshold where we can no longer monitor individual synaptic connections. There’s too much quantitative white noise.”
“Can we target connections on a broad-spectrum basis and break through?”
“It’s physically impossible. The chip automatically absorbs and analyzes data faster than we could ever hope to erase it.”
“But he has a desire to take in more. He is obedient. We must have faith that eventually he will succeed in correcting his mind.”
“How can we if we have no control any longer? We can’t see his individual thought processes. He has become a supercomputer, just streams of data flowing through his lobes quicker than anything can comprehend.”
“His physical location is always monitored. If there is any suspicion he may be in danger of exposing others to what he knows we can hunt him down and simply say that the experiment went horribly wrong.”
 
***
They have to proceed on foot in the park. There is an even greater margin of error, then. The fence is easily scaled with assistance from the augmentations. Over the top and falling, down down down into the canal. The G-force hits hard but is no distraction. Pumping legs and arms, churning the water and clutching the shield destroyer close. Up the other bank- an impossible task without limb implants. Force vectors work out subconsciously; the best route up is taken before it is visually seen. Now on ground again and the Chasers are at the fence. Extrapolations indicate a probable several seconds of verbalized warnings before the firing of weapons. Enough time to scale the wall.
 
***
Tannec clamped his eyes shut and fell backwards limply on his bed. He could not sleep. The sensations had started to become overwhelming, and it was all he could do to keep from screaming out of a pain impossible to classify. There was everything he had read, seen, and done in the last two weeks clearly presented to him out of the depths of his gray matter at once. He couldn’t recall where it started or what purpose it served anymore. Why was it even there? He just knew that he couldn’t stop, that he had to get more. It clawed and scratched and screamed at his mind relentlessly like a dog trapped in a cage.
A dog… a dark figure… with eyes as bright as supernovae…
Where had this vision come from?
The park… the shield… and an endless desert beyond….
“AAAAAHHHH!” Tannec writhed in agony on top of his sheets. Now it was all he could see, but it had no place, it had no answer. Everything else, every question he had learned, every formula, had an answer unless it was explicitly stated otherwise. But his goal was to obtain more answers, so he must pursue this one.
Flashes of blue again.
“NO! NO MORE!” Tannec bolted out of bed.
He no longer thought. He just did. His mother heard the screaming and came to investigate; her cosmetic facial enhancements were no match for Tannec’s artificially strengthened fist. He left her sprawled on the floor without a second glance. Everything he would need could be scavenged from the building. A power supply, cases and conduits and terminals and all, combined after being ripped from walls and appliances in a matter of hours to form his creation. No normal human would ever have the mental facilities to accommodate the knowledge necessary to construct it. Even the Supreme Council could not have predicted it.
He left his residential block with the shield still dark, much as he had two weeks before. Just like then, all that mattered was what he didn’t know yet. Only this time he was on foot, headed for the East Perimeter park. And, if his analytical predictions were correct, the wasteland beyond.
 
***
“What is he doing? He must be stopped!”
“We’ve already dispatched the Chasers.”
“This will ensure a catastrophic failure of the experiment!”
“We will face the greatest catastrophe of our age if he is permitted to follow through with whatever plan he has in mind.”
“This indeed has gone too far. We lost control long ago. Now it is time to put him down.”
 
***
Leaping up the wall in a matter of seconds is easily accomplished. The Chasers stand on the opposite bank, yelling their admonitions across the canal. Their viciously sleek hovercars are of no use now. They stand in their paneled white body armor and blank facemasks and aim their railguns. Five seconds more they will allow. Time is up.
Turning to the great wall of energy, Tannec locked his legs and plunged the terminals of his device into the shield.
One second…
The resistance was massive, but he held it in place.
Two seconds…
“TAKE HIM OUT!”
He ducked and pressed all of his weight against his creation. The sound of railgun blasts was deafening. Three seconds…
“BRING HIM DOWN! BRING HIM DOWN!”
He felt his spine and shoulders and legs explode as the hypersonic metal bolts impaled him like a pincushion. But there was no pain: Only the screeching and crackling noise of the massive barrier in front of him degenerating at exponentially increasing speed, the sensation of unfathomably parched air rushing into the wretched city, and behind it all that agonizingly vivid and torturous memory. His broken body tumbled forward over the wall where the dome had stood erect mere moments ago, leaving the terrified screams of the Chasers behind. 
As he fell towards the flat dusty plain, his fading vision caught brief sight of something in the near distance. A pair of silhouettes against the sand turned their sharp faces towards him, tails waving with the wind. There was no conviction in those eyes now, though. They watched him almost sympathetically, he thought, as darkness overtook his senses. He smiled softly, mind at an awed ease, and let the desert claim what it would.
 
  • Avatar by: Ventus Fall :D

~*Airforce Fleet commander*~
We fight, we recruit, we are the anthropomorphic army. FDF forever!

Come raise your lantern to the sky
And let's illuminate this night
We'll dance like heathens
Around the flames
And while the world sleeps
WE ARE AWAKE!

 

Powered by EzPortal