Haiku Anyone?

[BakaFawkes]

I wrote a buttload of them when I was bored a long time ago. I found them on an almost-broken flash drive in the shorts pocket I haven't worn in over a year. Anyone want to read them?

[anoni]

Sure! Post them on this thread

[BakaFawkes]

Some Haikus for No Reason

Oh the Internet
So dangerous and scary
I love you so much

Imagination
Is poured into you daily
Filling you with fun

I enjoy your lore
Hate your loading bar though
On slow computers

You accept my art
And the comments about it
Although they are mean

Oh ‘net, I love you
‘Though you are more dirty than
Week-old underwear

Hold onto my mind
Smash to pieces my grammar
Teach me to be 1337!

Don’t paste to Twitter
I don’t want your sandwiches
I really don’t care

Don’t paste to Facebook
They will fall like an empire
The Romans did too

I enjoy long walks
Is eHarmony jargon
You just want action

I hate Yahoo Games
Don’t you have to pay for some?
That really sucks pigs

I owned a fox once
He was a cute little one
I named him Oodles

He would eat my food
He would tear up the sofa
He would pee on walls

I had to train him
To not do those crazy things
Driving me crazy

Eventually
He learned to not pee on things
Now he’s a house fox

Well, actually
He was an indoor red fox
Now he’s kinda dead

I miss that cute fox
And his black tipped pointy ears
His tail was coolest

I had buried him
Next to the flower garden
Now flowers grow there

Owned a few foxes
And I’ve bred a couple more
But Oodles was best

Besides the story
I need to randomize now
So how about more

Don’t follow rabbits
Down through their little tunnels
They stab with carrots

Sisters can annoy
The living crap out of you
Don’t hold living crap

Don’t swim in oceans
Unless you want to pet sharks
Well, pet their stomachs…



Alligators hurt
When they are biting your neck
While you drink coffee

Don’t drink your coffee
While operating machines
Guaranteed to burn

We should use coffee
As a flamethrower refill
A great replacement

Napalm is lovely
It burns so bright and pretty
I should buy my own.

I want a mongoose
Ya’ know how awesome they are?
They have nice, long tails

They can’t hang from trees
Sort of like the monkeys do
They’re great for balance

Humans don’t have tails
Which is a real big bummer
I wish I had two

Oh, I would spin them
Just like a helicopter
And soar to heaven

People are waiting
They watch me from way up there
I’ve got to get there

But when I get there
I guess that won’t be enough
I’ll go up higher

I have a question
Is it okay to rip off
Your hero’s motto?



‘Cause Someone said that
That he had his own high dreams
Can I have them too?

Maybe it’s sharing
If I asked him he’d be fine
I’d ask him nicely

He’d say “sure thing, friend!”
And give me a big thumbs-up
He learned from the best

Once again I’m lost
I shouldn’t be typing this
It needs more random

But wait a minute
Do you really mind all this?
This is okay, right?

Alright, let’s back up
I’ve gotten pretty off-track
My haikus now suck

I don’t really think
I just count the syllables
As the words flow by

I enjoy haikus
What makes a really good one?
Must be the content

Multiplayer games
Are great for parties at home
You should plan one soon

I made a bad choice
I sent out lots of invites
To people online

I met them in games
And no avatar is real
They were kinda old



I’m good at Halo
I play lots of older guys
Some really showed up

My parents were mad
What business do they have here?
They had to leave then

By the way Reader
As of this moment you suck
You haven’t added!

If you are reading
Have you some understanding
And add on some more…

[anoni]

That's a heck of a lot of haiku's!
But they're all actually quite good O.o Nice job!

[BakaFawkes]

Thanks, I like to whip them out from time to time. I write these haiku/stories kind of. Maybe I could post the one I'm working on right now...