Alex drew in a cold breath and let it out, warmed from his body heat it fogged in the air before him and for a moment he was tempted to just run, as he always was when these things came back to haunt him. Now it was so close, he'd never seen much point in going out onto the lawn since it represented a small piece of something he'd never get. Like giving someone love and adoration then making them live the rest of their life jaded and alone. Now it was something close, so close he thought he could just take it. Somewhere deep down though he knew he couldn't do it alone.
Echoes drifted through his mind.
'Failures.. evil.. destructive monsters.. evil.. evil..'
Always that one word above all else. Alex had been told that to be evil was to be vile, hateful, irredeemable. Then he'd been called it and he'd started to believe it. The therapist taught him about the nature of evil though, and some things stuck. Sometimes Alex wasn't sure about it, but he cleaved to it nonetheless. It felt like he was caught in a raging river and those words, those ideas, were a solid rock jutting from the riverbed. If Alex didn't cling to that rock, he'd be carried away somewhere far away, and Alex knew where it was, too. Towards true evil. Sometimes when Alex felt cold and hated by the looks that some gave him he just wanted to give in.
"If you think I'm so evil then let me be evil! Let me show you what this idea of yours truly is.."
Even as Alex said it his face grew tight and his lips tugged down but he shook his head and hugged his knees a little tighter. No, don't indulge, never indulge. Alex simply stood and rubbed the heels of his handpaws into his cheek and rubbed at the damn fur then walked back towards the facility, stopping only when he saw Three, he had a deck of cards. That was oddly enough the first thing he noticed, however he soon put together what he'd learned from One. Going over the details-his fairly light build, felid genus, it all matched. Suddenly shifted back into his planning mode he walked over. "Hello Three, I don't think we've met."