Getting out of the closet

[sigols]

If there already is a thread like this im sorry, but I have not found that thread if it is.
But back to topic, getting out of the closet is often hard. I mean the homo/bi closet, saying you're a furry is not getting out of the closet. Do anyone have any advices? Some tips and tricks? I just came out to my mom that im bi. I showed her a pic and nothing else. (the pic is as an attachment)
Whats your experience of this?

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[GentleBear]

I don't know much about your particular circumstances, so any advice I could possibly offer is going to be based on assumptions - unfortunately, there isn't a set way to handle such things. Obviously enough, it comes down to the people involved.

Before I go on a tirade and offer you advice you may or may not need: did it go well with your mum? After you showed her the picture, did you two talk about it?
Is this a celebratory post, in that you just want to share your experience with others, or are you looking for advice to help her understand who you are? I've read over your original post a few times now, and I'm not quite sure.

[George]

I don't think "the closet" is necessary. It's not like what you like is a big deal. The best thing to do in my opinion is just to be honest. 
0h, and it's also not necessary to go up to your parents, friends or whatever and be like "<person>, I'm <sexuality> "
It's only relevant if it actually gets brought up, or you meet a potential mate or something.

H0Wever, if you are keeping your sexuality a secret and you've already lied about it, you might want to clear things up and stop faking. Lying is bad for the soul.

In a nutshell, just don't lie about it and things should be fine.
I can't emphasize this enough. 

[anoni]

I'd disagree with some of those statements, some people have an inherent need to feel accepted and to feel like they belong, and for some people such a feeling is inaccessible if they're not open about something that they consider important to them, like their sexuality. In which case, even if it's not being discussed, their sexuality could be a big deal to them. I also disagree with the lying part, some parents are not accepting at all of sexuality and may confront you about it, and if you told the truth in that scenario the circumstances could be less than fun.

  But BillyBobJoe does give a good point, one of the main things you should do is try and be confident, but at the same time sincere and formal. If you fear the person will have a bad reaction, it's more important to try a more formal approach in which yes, you go "SO, I'm bi, if you have any questions ask them", if you feel your friend won't mind then say it with confidence and ease, like "Oh, btw, I'm bi ". If you act like it's not a big deal, neither will they, provided they haven't already decided being gay is wrong or something.

  You also got to remember you don't have a time restraint, so come out whenever you want to. I'm glad you sent a picture though, keep us updated on how it's going!

[sigols]

It went fine to tell my mom that im bi, she just said "Ok, its your call, if thats who you are so fine." she took it pretty nice, she also accepted my furry part pretty quick. The only thing she don't like about my interests is that I like black metal
Im a little more unsure when it comes to tell my dad, he is still strugling to come over my furrynes. I know tha my dad will still love me, but he want me to be safe, when I told him im a furry, he said that I should keep it to myself so I would not be marked as a wierdo on school.
When I told him that it was alot of gay/bi in the furry fandom he asked if I were gay/bi, I told him that I was unsure and he said that I should stay straight till I were sure that I like boys, cuz if I first try with boys I will be marked as a faggot for the rest of my life. He don't know im bi, but I don't want to tell him since he already is so negative to it.

[anoni]

Yeah =/, he has this a problematic notion about being gay and straight, but it's also clear it's less hate and more concern that people will treat you inappropriately.

I think your best bet with your father will be to appeal to the concern angle. So when you tell your dad you are bi, reassure him that you understand the consequences of such and you're confident you can take care of it and that you appreciate your fathers concern, as well establish to him that it's not a choice and it's simply who you are. Your dad seems to really love you and he's just worried that people might bully you if you do homosexual or bisexual acts, and although it MAY be true, most time it isn't, so it's important to reassure your dad that you are aware of what people can do and you are confident in taking care of yourself.

I'm glad your parents seem to be so accepting

[sigols]

GentleBear, I meant this post as a kinda general advices for telling people that you are gay/bi, both I and others need advices on this area. There are lots of people that want advices but don't have the courage to ask the forum.
Im glad for the advices that have come in already, and I hope it will help others too.

Anoni, you are probaly right, he is most likely scared that I have to go trough school same way as he did. He had problems reading and was scared of social interaction. He got on a group for people that had a special learning program, in other words he got marked as a redard at school. He is already feeling guilty that I have a depression and is scared of pretty much anything social, since he already have it and he feels like he have brought bad DNA to me.

[Trigahex]

I don't really know to deal with that other then bludgeoning threw it and just outright telling the person you want to tell.

[BakaFawkes]

I had a friend go through this on the 27th. He's gotten right through that early stage by pretending it's not really a big deal. He just tells people like "Duh? You didn't know, what does it matter if I'm bi anyway?" and they feel stupid about feeling shocked, or whatever their reaction was. Just play it cool, it's not even a thing in my town anymore.

[Alex Laetus]

I myself am bi, and it was a couple months ago with a very good friend who helped me understand that I was indeed born this way, and I love it *waves a purple flag*


I've also come out to my mom, who took it fairly well from what I understand, though she was making sure I wasn't just following a fad...


Now the fun part. Whether by  fate or ignorant participation I've locked myself in the position of an intense political game; I fear telling too many people about my sexuality, since if I tell that one person that has loose lips, everyone knows ) : and only reason I'm worried? I don't want to give the wrong impression about my parents, or to think I've gone (family too I suppose, but I could care less to bust right out if not for what could sequence the purple-ness)


One other matter is my mate... I have not told her, and though we've been dating for several months now... I don't feel too inclined to tell her (doesn't even know I'm furry. Very few people did actually.) ..


Help ^O.O^? (whew, long post, sorry)

[sigols]

I myself am bi, and it was a couple months ago with a very good friend who helped me understand that I was indeed born this way, and I love it *waves a purple flag*


I've also come out to my mom, who took it fairly well from what I understand, though she was making sure I wasn't just following a fad...


Now the fun part. Whether by  fate or ignorant participation I've locked myself in the position of an intense political game; I fear telling too many people about my sexuality, since if I tell that one person that has loose lips, everyone knows ) : and only reason I'm worried? I don't want to give the wrong impression about my parents, or to think I've gone (family too I suppose, but I could care less to bust right out if not for what could sequence the purple-ness)


One other matter is my mate... I have not told her, and though we've been dating for several months now... I don't feel too inclined to tell her (doesn't even know I'm furry. Very few people did actually.) ..


Help ^O.O^? (whew, long post, sorry)

I don`t know what your family, friends and the rest of your city/town thinks of homo/bisexuality, but if its like in south US mabye you should keep a low profile. But if people generaly accept it, then I think you should tell it to your close family, like parents and others in the family that you often meet. And telling your close friends is also not a bad idea, if they reject you as a friend cuz you are bi, then they are not any good friends. If your family gets a bad name cuz you are bi, then people there are WAY too judging.
But its mostly up to you, if you feel that it will ruin you and your familys name if lots of people find out you are bi, then keep it to yourself. But if you feel that people will accept it and that you feel like telling, then there is nothing stoping you.
And about your mate, if she truly love you, she will accept it. Cuz, well, you two are together so she would not fear of losing you.

Just my two cents, take it with a pinch of salt, I don`t have much experience here, only a little experience and my own kind of common sense is what this is based on  Good luck

[Alex Laetus]

Thank you very much ^n.n^

A lot of that does make sense, and sounds like a good plan : ) . Thank you Sig.

[MaskaTheOtter]

I know for me it was really hard. Not so much the coming out part but I did't realize the consequences after.
Once I came out about being Bi my family Kicked me out.
I have been living on my own doing my own thing for three years now.
I still have good relationships with my brother and sister but my parents are done with me.

[Alex Laetus]

Aw... Maska D 8 *Hug*

I'm glad you still get along with your bro and sis though ( 8 >

And on your own *hug* Gah dude... Wish I could give advice "... I'm still just a pup when it comes to this stuff though (As I've mentioned, only told mom and some close friends)

[MaskaTheOtter]

It's not that bad once you get used to it (that took a few years), but it helps to have all of the support from my friends, and of course the brigade.