I need some advice about anger...

[Trigahex]

I feel like ever since Id hit puberty I've been very aggressive in real life Its caused me to get in several fights and nearly get into many more I've not managed to hurt anyone close to me I have come close to it however... I feel terrible after even thinking I might have hurt them. I've broken things as well and I have even punched a hole in my wall for something so insignificant. I don't know why I get so angry I have not had a bad life and I generally tend to be angry all day If someone had done something I don't like maybe at school or something even thinking about something that could have happened years ago makes me seethe with anger sometimes I was once even angry enough to bring a knife to school and contemplate using it in 7th grade I didn't thankfully Its a serious issue.
 
on the internet I generally don't get angry at all I'm worried about this effecting me later in life when a lot more stress can be on you I might do something terrible to someone who did not deserve it and I'm worried about hurting myself as well
 
I wouldn't say I have ever been depressed either
 
I'm sort of scared to ask my parents to go to anger management I don't like asking them for things or telling them about things... But I just don't know what to do. I generally cant get angry at friends unless I feel they have betrayed me in some way.
 
I also seem to have lost the ability to cry for real anyway I have tried to do that instead of get angry but I just cant for some reason I can feel sad but not cry and I feel when I should be sad sometimes I don't feel anything at all or the emotions just don't feel very strong.
 
I want to get help with this but I'm sort of embarrassed by it and scared of what my parents reaction might be when they hear the extent of this issue.
 
 
 
 

[anoni]

There are three ways to stop anger, immediate relief, long-lasting relief and aversion.

Immediate Relief:
  Methods for immediate relief are extremely simple and they're very handy, immediate relief methods will stop you doing impulsive things like punching holes in the walls. These include, counting to 10 when you feel angry, breathing slowly when angry or upset and so forth. These are incredibly simple tactics and they work really well! Unfortunately, despite their simplicity they're often not used. A lot of the reason is because when you're angry, you're in a different state of mind and thus don't FEEL like not being angry, you just want to do whatever it is you want to do. Reminding yourself to count to 10 and forcing yourself to stop in your tracks is key, and you can do that through many methods. One method is to relate anger with something else, so perhaps anytime you're angry at home, notice a specific thing in your anger, like lets say everytime you're angry you start breathing really quickly, only focus on that breathing quickly and remind yourself that "if I breath quickly, I stop and take a deep breath" and keep doing that even if you're not angry. Immediate Relief methods are useful for short-term anger management but can often be forgotten.

Long-lasting Relief:
  This method is more of a lifestyle change, it generally takes a long time but will hopefully change you to a person that is simply not angry. You need a passion that either outlets your anger or snubs it. An example would be meditation, learning how to meditate  and becoming interested in the practice will help you calm down and after a sufficient period of time you will find yourself not angry. Another example is Martial Arts or Boxing, you may find that this is a useful outlet for your anger and your emotions, which might help you.

Aversion:
  Aversion simply means that you avoid situations which make you angry. An example is if you often have fights at pubs, try to go to pubs a little bit less and seek more passive and friendly environments. It's really as simple as that, think about where you have the most anger and try to get away from that place as much as possible. Aversion generally works, but sometimes is difficult to do especially if you love  the place that makes you angry or it's somewhere you live.

[Trigahex]

Perhaps boxing would help. Like when I'm angry hitting things feels really really good like a feeling of relief in this way I can avoid damaging things.
 
I know I have done things like meditation I just put on any music I like with infinitelooper close my eyes relax and concentrate only on the music and it feels as though im not in the world anymore that's meditation right? Its just I often totally forget when riled up. I should do it daily I guess it is pretty good and I forget about troubles for awhile and even resolve some of them.
 
Thank you for the tips on how to deal with anger.

[cloudedleo]

trigahex. try something creative like drawing writing.. if you can put up a plywood wall or find a legal wall and try some graffiti it works wonder for me..
 
 

[Trigahex]

trigahex. try something creative like drawing writing.. if you can put up a plywood wall or find a legal wall and try some graffiti it works wonder for me..
 
 

I do draw.
 
Never thought of graphitti though. Sounds fun

[anoni]

Make sure it's a legal wall though, you don't want to get in trouble, they're pretty strict about that stuff.

[cloudedleo]

hahah legal wall is nice..
 
it hard as all hell to write illegally it like a guerilla mission in and out with out being seen and paint of course.
 
but I recommend a legal wall if your just starting ..
 

[BakaFawkes]

Make sure the thing you use to calm yourself down isn't a high risk within itself. I love to draw, but if I'm pissed and I try to draw in detail, I'll fling the notebook across the room in fury if I mess up. I'm not putting down the others' advice, you really should try those things in a safe way that will bring you down to a reasonable level.

[Trigahex]

Make sure the thing you use to calm yourself down isn't a high risk within itself. I love to draw, but if I'm pissed and I try to draw in detail, I'll fling the notebook across the room in fury if I mess up. I'm not putting down the others' advice, you really should try those things in a safe way that will bring you down to a reasonable level.
----------
My anger is pretty bad.
 
Like just yesterday I put a hole in my door...
 
I threw a half empty water bottle with enough force for it to stick in my door put a poster over it so mom and dad don't know.
 
I don't know when I'm thinking of things like drawing I feel a lot better so far like if I put a song on and just start drawing not really going for anything just putting it down on a paper it makes me happy to draw it I'm not even going for anything really It just gets on the paper and often its like how the song made me feel.
 
I need to get something to listen to music at school.

[BakaFawkes]

Lol, I have the hoodie with the ear buds in in the drawstrings. You should check them out.
 
It might also help you to look up different techniques to calm down. But the problem with anger is you have to stop it before it clicks in to the fullest, which can be instantly sometimes. Try to keep a mental preparedness if you are in a "high risk" location or scenario.