Advice: Should I Hide It?

[Philosophunculist]

I have recently identified as a furry about 2 weeks ago. I am gay and 14 years old. I just don't know how I could ever become part of the furry community and furthermore inform by parents about it. I would love to get involved with fur suits and cons and hopefully find a like minded partner one day. Do I just conceal the fact that I am a gay furry until I move into my own home and into university? That seems like the best and only option...    I suppose the first step would be to tell my parents that I am gay at some point but idk how...    I've never met somebody who could ever be in a relationship with me and certainly never another furry, maybe they are just hiding it like me and one day one of the people in my small group of nerdy friends (I am a nerd/geek and PC gamer), or sombody who I meet will turn out to be gay however idk how I would introduce them to the furry fandom. My dream is to get a fur suit and go to some sort of big anthrocon but idk if there are many of those in England...


Here is my introduction post: http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/index.php?topic=24099.0

[William Dynwood]

Well, I Hide it to almost everyone that I'm a furry, cuz I don't like to be questioned, and I hate it if people don't take me serious... also, I don't think there are many Furries in my area and country (I'm from The Netherlands) so wearing things like Ears and a tail would cause some commotions. But if You're eventually going to tell your parents, Think about how and when before doing so.

(I'm Zehn by the way, welcome to the forum )

Post Merge: January 19, 2014, 01:42:50 PMBy the way, if there is something on your mind feel free to PM me, I'm always ready to help others.

[anoni]

It's important to realize that being a furry isn't necessarily a "lifestyle", it's more a hobby. Don't think of being furry as similar to a sexuality because it isn't , there's no reason to tell your parents you're a furry unless you find a reason, so no need to worry about it yet. Fursuits are expensive! (A cheap one can cost $1,000! And that's generally cheap!) So it will take a while for you to get a fursuit. You can still go to conventions, just tell your parents it's an anime convention or something. Really, there's no reason to tell anyone unless you find a reason, for example you have enough money to buy a fursuit and you really want one, then telling your parents is a good idea. But to go about telling your parents, keep it casual, don't treat it like a perverted fetish (like coming about it all nervous and scared) or they'll think of it as a perverted fetish, just treat it as a nice little hobby you like to do, like "Friends and I really like this anthropomorphic art of animals and such, we go to conventions and stuff to discuss it, it's really cool! We also cosplay the art like people do in Star trek and anime conventions to show off and have a great time!" Something like that.

  For being gay, well, that's up to you. I found sexuality is slightly different, coming out about it can be really liberating and make you feel quite better. I'd wait until you're a bit older unless your parents are very open about homosexuality, in which case go for it. But if they're not, it's a good idea to wait until you're, say 16 to 18, in case anything BAD happens, not that it will necessarily (it's quite unlikely it will). But yes, I would say coming out to your parents about being gay EVENTUALLY is a good idea, because it makes you feel quite a lot better, happier and freer, it's hard to explain but you don't feel self conscious about being gay. EVEN if your parents have a bad reaction you still feel like you're open with yourself. I don't consider furryism as significant as sexuality so I don't have a need to tell everyone I meet I'm a furry, I just tell people when they ask xD



EDIT: Also HAH! that was the Avi I used when I originally joined the fandom too Ah memories~

[Philosophunculist]

Thank you so much that is really helpful. I just don't want my furry fantasies to always be an online thing and that at some point in the future I might find somebody else like me. Also despite the fact that your definition of fur as being just a hobby probably applies to me, I know that many people take it far more seriously than that.

[HyenaKing]

Go to silly parties and costume things and such and you might fund a fur there.
When in as in school we had a costume party (In high school lol) And i found like 5 furs i would never have guessed that they are.
   Since parents still look over your shoulder, i think they will find out themselves if you don't tell them that your a fur. And that can react explosively.
Don't hide it.
I jsut made art about months ago and since i was still in the house, my father asked "What is this?"
The good way to explain it is say, for good parents that is, "Its a thing where people pretend they are like animal-people for fun."
and tell em' about the bad side a little later, 'cause its a little TMI right-off-the-bat.

[MaskaTheOtter]

Let me tell you a story about a Raccoon that came out about being gay to his parents. I told my parents I was gay when I was 16, Three years ago, And there response was to disown me and kick me out of the house. I hid in the woods, lived in a cabin, grew and hunted my own food, and still somehow made it through high school. Now that I am in college, run a company, and own a plane, my parents want me to come back because they need the money and they expect me to take care of them. Now I would hope that your story never gets as bad as that but it is a warning. They think being gay is terrible because I come from American Indian heritage. If you want to talk more, feel free to PM me

[anoni]

Now in light of Maska's story it's very important to realize that a minority of parents react that way, but unfortunately some do. Don't be scared of horror stories like that, but that's why I suggested you wait until you're 16 or 18 so you have a bit more independence in case the unlikely happens. Again, a majority of people have a nice coming out experience, not disowned or kicked out of home or anything. And tbh, unless your parents are extremely right wing or in a rural community, it's quite unlikely to happen. So don't be too scared about it!

[George]

I don't exactly live in the best of areas, but from my experience, folx are more accepting than I expected. I have yet to get problems from anyone but these two socially inept Bible-thumpers who no one likes or cares about anyway. My paleontologist friend even knows about the "weirder" things I like and jokes about it sometimes, but it's never intended to be hurtful.   

[MaskaTheOtter]

Now in light of Maska's story it's very important to realize that a minority of parents react that way.... Don't be scared of horror stories like that....

Sorry He is right... I didn't mean to go twisted like that

[Marcus]

My friends and family are all pretty accepting that I'm a fur. My dad even was one a while back. However, no one knows I'm gay. And imo, they don't need to know I am. The less of a dramaticly big deal you make it, the better.

[Philosophunculist]

That is surprising that they know that your a fur but to that your gay, I mean how could somebody be accepting of furs but  opposed to gays, if you are a bigot in that you hate gays you are also going to hate furs!

[maggintons]

well im a potential bisexual but i tend to keep it secret because i feel people of both genders will think im hitting on them when talking to them

[Marcus]

I'm not concerned about them disliking because I'm gay, I just don't see a real reason to tell them.

[George]

By the way, I force it to be normal. Not making a big deal out of it, just being honest, not lying if someone asks.

It's not like you have to go around "warning" everyone.

[Philosophunculist]

Well, at the age of 14 if somebody asks me if I am a furry, or if I am gay, I would not say the truth because it would ruin my school life...