I wish they could understand

[Cheza]

We're kinda in the same boat, only that I'm not living with my parents anymore and I'm old enough to go wherever I want to go..

I came out as a furry about a month ago, and my mom asked me about it and I explained it as well as I could, making it perfectly clear to her that you can ask "what's a furry" from thousands of people and get thousands of different answers.. There are bad sides in all fandoms, but people kinda seem to like to forget that since furries in my experience seem to be prety open with their fetishes.. But that still doesn't mean everyone is into that sort of stuff... Mom didn't really get it, and didnt' show too much interest, but a few days later her boyfriend was driving me back to my placce and he suddenly started to ask me stuff about the fandom, what it was all about and stuff... He was really understanding and showed quite abit of interest.. Hopefully he
can bring my mom to understand it better too...

I havn't told mom about me getting another fursuit tho, since she weren't too excited about it last time i got one (that one was a gift for my pet fox.. Now it's finally my turn), since I'm worried about how she'll react...

But at least she accepts that im a furry and doesn't seem to see it as anything weirder than "a bunch of grown up people who like to dress up as animals and have fun"

What I would do in your situation is to try and tell your mom that the media have only targeted the "bad part" of the fandom since that makes for more interesting and better-selling stories than "David, 25, likes to dress up as Kevin the fox and party with his friends".. The bad part is there, but it's not the main thing in the fandom for most...

And not caring about what other people think of you is a great thing.. It's those who try and be just like "everyone else" who are the weaker ones in that case

As for sexuality, is it really necessary for your friends and family to know that? I also have some really confusing things going on in my head about "what i am", but I don't feel like my family or friends need to know more about it... (I have pretty accepting parents tho since one of my siblings are currently in a same-sex relationship and my parents accept it quite ok.. Event tho they "wish it wasn't that way" they can still live with it and be supporting)
If you still think you want to come out with it, remember that there's nothing wrong in being bisexual or anything else no matter what people say or do, and if they can't accept it, the problem is on their side.

I can't really relate to the last thing since I've let my parents down too much when it's about school so they've kinda given up on me there... But I think trying to tell them how you feel about it could help...

And yes, if you think your mother will accept and understand you, try find some time where you both will have plenty of time to talk through things alone.. You don't need to tell her everything at once, but just get the whole thing started so that she knows what's going on in your head..


^That's at least what I have tried and what I would try... I'm not all that good at giving advice but hopefully it'll help at least a little...

[Sylvilix]

I feel sexual attraction to women. But I'm bi curious. I (not trying to brag) hooked up with many girls last year but I also hooked up with my best friend who is a guy. It kinda ruined our friendship.

[Delete me]

Thanks for the reply cheza, that's very helpful.  (you have a pet fox which is pretty awesome!)
Your advice is really helpful and I will try to find time to explain to my mother.




Sylvillix that is actually very helpful as well (your also lucky to be such a playa!)


Hehe

[William Dynwood]

I think a lot of you are really courageous to tell about all of this... I would like to tell some  things too but I wouldn't do that in the open, especially when friends can track the things I say, as well as my parents. I see this fandom as something personal, something which is not necissary to share with just everyone I know. (But thats just my opinion)

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[Sylvilix]

*stunned face* what da heck cheza! Making me look bad

[Delete me]

Hehe thank you for all the comments. 


I want to tell my mom that I am bicurious although it might be better to just use the term bisexual because it is less confusing.  But I feel like nobody would look at me in the same light especially my dad.  On the other hand keeping all of these emotions inside feels like something is chewing me apart from the inside, and it is really detrimental to me health.   


I should probably tell somebody because I tend to hurt myself when overwhelmed with intense emotions.  (I know this is unhealthy and I am trying to stop)

[Sylvilix]

Don't worry, you aren't alone in the self-harm boat. It's your decision even though I'd prefer if everybody (including myself) could just stop, but please just make sure you are careful. Okay?

[William Dynwood]

The both of you should be carefull. i've read your stories... espesially the one of Sylvilix almost made me cry... (And i do not cry often). Take care you two. I wish you both the best. Feel free to PM me if something troubles you I'll always try to help.

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[Delete me]

Thank you!  I appreciate your feedback.


I don't do anything serious don't worry, but sometimes I hit myself in the head or scratch my face.  Sounds dumb but emotions cn really get the better of you.

[Rushlight]

I wish i could tell my parents about both my sexuality and my 'furness". I'm a 17yo guy with nazi-esque christian parents; im still figuring out if im bi. Keeping it secret from them just builds up wall after metaphorical wall that will eventually topple on me. My parents cant stand when i keep secrets, so when they know im hiding something, they make my life hell. And boy do i have somethin to hide. All my close friends know... i just wish i could talk openly with my parents.
 

[HyenaKing]

Jsut tread carefully!
Founds out de hard ways.
I slipped up and said "Boyfriend" and now they are jsut grumpy awkward suggesting-toward-majority-ness.

[Kytaari]

You're probably bi, I am too myself. There were plenty of hot people when I went through school, but I didn't feel the magnitude of attraction as everyone else. Preference tends to fluctuate from one sex to the next, without any will involved. Just kinda happens.


You also seem shy to me, which doesn't really help matters. Introversion is not a bad thing, but people get strange ideas from it. Find a nice hobby to get you through your tumultuous times. A creative outlet that you can improve consistently also helps immensely.


Your parents may just not like the idea that you're a furre, but as long as you don't involved in anything too weird, I don't see any kind of super-intrusion.


Write, draw, express your creativity with something.


And don't overthing your sexuality. My hunch is you really are bi, but, as I said, it's not always a consistent preference. Sometimes it's guys you're mainly into, sometimes the opposite. Happens by itself. And if you are still worried, it's something that more or less sorts itself out with time.


One more piece of advice: when you feel like you are interested in anything, male or female, it usually just means your going through a 'flip'. It's not permanent, unless you're more asexual than bisexual.

[Shiothefox]

I know how you feel. When I told my mum what a furry was, I told her everything. I told her that there are strange people who go too far and make porn, but I am not part of that side, and since she is afraid of me seeing exposed breasts in an "R" raten movie, she got really worried. But when I told her what fursuiting was, she started looking on e-bay for mascot costumes and I told her not to worry about it lol... But, back on track, having worried mothers is hard when it comes to this fandom. I told her about Califur and that I wanted to go (I will be 18 then) and I read off all the rules and how it said no elicit drugs, alcohol, ect and she said "why would they even need to bring that up".... So, mothers can be weird, and I would never tell my father because he is weird and he would wise-crack about it... and I, too am bisexual lol
So, Yea, I'm going through somehing somewhat similar. I am a far-right conservative republican, but I do not hate people because of sexual orientation. That is a big misconception.
Hope this helped (I know I'm late posting here)

[STURMWULFE]

Chin up mate, You'll be able to tell the truth openly and feel completely comfortable about it in your own time, don't push yourself to do it, the people who bully or ridicule you for whatever it may be are not the kind of people you want to incorporated within your life any longer.

[Delete me]

Thank you for all the support, I am feeling better now, and moving on with my life.