I'm in the same position as you; my parents can just about send me to a private school if they work extremely hard, but because they are paying that money, we are lower middle class. People assume that I am incredibly rich, I am not, I live in one of the worst places in England in a small semi detached house, we are in debt by huge amounts of money and are still paying off mortgage (I'm not trying to start a competition of who is worse off than who here, I'm just stating what I am, I am more well of than the majority of the world and I know that so you don't have to remind me
)... I am also often incredibly sad and have been since an extremely young age because I was and am different (gay, furry, not an ignorant bigoted jock, etc.) and people don't accept that. Also what I believe courses me a lot of grief.
As for your philosophical questions. You happened to be brought up by Mennonites, imagine if you were brought up by 1 other of the thousands of other religions: Hinduism, Islam, a different flavour of Christianity, Judaism etc. (there are so many). Everything would be different, what is the likelihood that the one that you just happened to become is right? I ask you to forget religion and everything that you believe, morals, knowledge, all of it just for a moment. Now study your environment, everything around you, logically work out what everything is and how it works. This is science. Anything that you don't understand or know, don't fill the gap with a God or an illogical believe, say "I don't know" and then learn, research and find the answer. I can't tell you the whole answer, I am a 14 year old boy, I am still figuring them out myself, and I will learn them by learning what has already been leaned by others and then possibly be a part of discovering new things myself.
Lets begin with things that don't exist:
Points/Meanings: These are ideas, not properties of things, therefore they don't exist, therefore everything is pointless.
Good/Bad: These are ideas, not properties of things, therefore they don't exist.
Control: Everything is a huge chain reaction, we have no control of what is going to happen, what ever last existed causes the next thing to exist in a certain way.
Anything that is based on points: Importance etc.
There are so many more of these but we have covered some main ones.
Now evolution is proven, there is no doubt about that. It's basic component concepts are that things that are able to exist will exist and things that aren't won't. Sounds simple right? Imagine you have some hard rocks and some soft ones and you leave them in the rain for 100 years; the hard ones will still be there, but the soft ones will have changed into a form in which they are able to exist (mud).
Lets now look at the concious. Conciousness is so hard to understand, on a basic level it is just a computer, it receives information, processes it then sends out information. But to ourselves we seem to be different, we aren't, we are matter and energy, thinking about our own mind is so incredibly hard and right here and right now I won't try to explain it because I don't fully understand it myself.
If you want to learn more you will have so many opportunities at school/collage/university, study physics and quantum physics, study neurology and psychology. The path to understanding these things is knowledge and scientific research, not made up stories or deities with no basis of logic.
Make sure that you don't prejudge all atheists by any atheists actions. Most of my year are atheists but none of them believe what I do and some of them are
extraordinarily bigoted and stupid so you can't group all atheists together and judge them all.
I've probably missed out a vast amount of things that I want to say but I hope that I helped.