Pleased as Pizza - The Parlor

[White Wolf Guardian]

Welcome kind gents and ladies, to Pleased as Pizza! We have a great deal many jobs available and several unique pizza pies, come on in and take a sit down. Perhaps try some of our barely digestible bread sticks?


The only rules in this fine establishment: The shop cannot be closed and the building cannot be completely destroyed! You may leave as you see fit and return at any given moment. Now are you going to buy something or what, stop staring at my cat posters.

[Sigcutio]

It was a totally radical day as I was walking along the street and rocking my brand new high top sneakers. They practically shone as they slid across the hot pavement.


"Man I'm so bad," I thought to myself as I popped the collar on my plaid button up. No one could compete with my cool 'tude.


It was then that I noticed the pizza joint that just opened right down the street. The help wanted signs plastered on the glass and the totally sweet deals literally jumped out and said, "Hey you're a cool dude, come hang with us."


I knew then that this was the perfect joint to scope out some wicked hot babes.


"Babes can't resist a good pizza joint."


Shades keeping me cool and my hands in the pockets of my acid-washed jeans, I jammed on in through the door and brought everyone up to speed.


"Yo, dudes, Sig the sea otter's in the house!" I yelled as I whipped off my rad shades and walked towards the counter. I could feel everyone in the joint looking at my swag. I couldn't help, but crack a wicked grin as I felt the room wish they could be me.


"Hey pizza man," I shot as I cut through the line, "get me a large pepp' with the chovies and don't skip the sauce!"

[White Wolf Guardian]

"Sal! One large over the top with some scruff!" I love making up names and titles for pizza combinations and employees that don't work here. Welcome to the parlor, you can take a seat anywhere you like, except behind the counter.

[Sigcutio]

Too busy being too cool to care, I yawned and stretched out over the counter. When I got my peeps looking around the joint I noticed something was way off about this pizza stop.



"Yo, man, where are all the babes? I can't waste my time on any non-babes."

[White Wolf Guardian]

"After the flying spaghetti monster showed up back in the early 21st century, a lot of females moved out of town to the countryside. It's pretty rare to see a lady in here these days unfortunately, but I hear if you travel further into the city you'll find some 'babes'."

[Sigcutio]

"N-no babes?" the look I gave this worker after saying that would have almost ruined my cool, but I kept it together. "Whatever, I just wanted pizza anyway." To make up for my moment of weakness I decided to grab a toothpick and stick it between my teeth. Toothpicks are what invented 'cool'. In fact, I'm sure this guy was just lying to me anyway. He's just jealous of all my swag. The babes'll come from miles to see this dude right here.


Leaning back on the counter, I knew that I had to do. If the babes weren't here I just had to bring 'em all to me the hard way. It was time to go into full-swag mode. I knew it was dangerous, but this was a 'babergency'. I was going to show this pizza stand just how wicked awesome I am. With just a twist of the wrist, my cap slid backwards and the wicked energy I had been holding back shot out from my rocking 'bod. I swore for a moment there, I was like the brightest illegal firework at the fourth of July party. My 'raditude' levels flew through the roof. I was totally gnarly now. There was no way any babe could miss this.

[White Wolf Guardian]

*I looked down and went back to flipping quarters at the back door to the storage room* "Why do I always get the weird customers. Mom said if I opened shop in this part of town I was going to get weird people, but I've never listened to her before and was always fine." *Looking over at the dough, I realized it was time to start rolling* "Your pizza will be done in about 20 minutes." *The owner started working on the pizza*

[Sigcutio]

Having reached the nirvana of radness, 20 minutes was totally cool with me. In fact, it gave me time to chill and scope out the scene.


"Dude... dude...'nother dude... dude, dude, dude looks like lady, annnnnd dude."


No babes yet it seemed, but it was only a matter of time. My radical levels were through the roof and every chick on the planet would know that here I was waiting for one of them right here. The moment to meet coolest of cool was as easy opening those doors and walking in.

[Rayleonarde]

*I walk in, cellphone against my ear.*  "Uh huh....yes, the lockbox labeled 48...yes...you found it? Good.  I gotta go, found that pizza place....yeah...c'ya, bye."  *I close the phone, returning it to my pocket.*  "So, rumor has it, pizza here's good.  Any truth to that?"

[White Wolf Guardian]

*The proprietor blinked in disbelief as another customer walked in* Two customers in a single day, this must be a miracle, or my ingenious advertising on google. I'll just take the credit for this one.

"Welcome sir! What would you like to order?"


*The owner motioned to the lone otter off to the side and placed a closed pizza box on the countertop, and rang the bell*

[Rayleonarde]

*I tap my chin.* "Hmm....not sure...honestly...I've never eaten a pizza before.  Sure, I know what they look like...even spent a month in Italy...but never had a pizza...what do you recommend, my good sir?" *I glance at the otter that the owner motioned to, before turning to the counter.*

[White Wolf Guardian]

"Well if you like the Italian variety of pizza, I'll make it square shaped and I won't put any pepperoni on it, that's not that country's style. What size are you going for?"

[Rayleonarde]

*I rub my chin thoughtfully, before answering.*  "Hmm...can I get...I don't know...not a whole pizza, just enough for one person, I suppose.   What's the general cost of a pizza, and what'll it cost for the specialization?"  *I pull out a rectangular box, clearly labeled "Polish Liquor", from my coat pocket.*

[White Wolf Guardian]

"For a box of that size, about $10 should be good enough. What toppings do you want then?"

[Sigcutio]

I heard the bell over the door ring and knew that the babes had finally arrived and turned to find... another dude.


"What the what, man," I cried, "where all the women at?"


I admit, my super cool radness simmered down to a cool radness. As I slouched back into my chair the dude behind the counter said something about pizza and slammed mine down on the counter. I opened the box to find the pizza, which looked pretty stellar. I pushed my cash on the counter and took a bite out of the pizza. It was like my tastebuds died and went to heaven! The pizza had the perfect warm crust and tasted great even with less sauce. It was the most rad pizza for a rad dude like me. If I were wearing socks they would be totally blown off.


"Dudeeeeee, this pizza is so rad."