Ever since I could crawl at age 1, I knew I was a cockroach.
Since then, I have learned about these incredible beasts and have attuned my mind and body to theirs. I am able to find the smallest crumbs, squeeze under any space with a least a one inch high gap, and can withstand copious amounts of nuclear radiation.
I hope you will understand me.
Ps: you can call me Elegant_Cock for short!