Why does the term "Friend zone" exist...???

[Dubaku]

Wait how am I putting someone through hell exactly. I do not follow

[Alistair]

Basically being their friend then you were only their friend in an attempt to get into bed with them. That breaks down their ability to trust people because anyone could just be their friend because they want a one night stand.


-lays down- Work. Sucks.

[Midnight Madness]

The term friend zone absolutely should not exist. If a particular individual doesn't see someone as the other sees them, they had best suck it up and accept that that is their decision and nobody else's. Some perceptions are selfish, some perceptions are misguided, but constantly trying to influence someone to perceive one the way one wants to be perceived fits a number of timeless sayings. It's a waste of time, since in the end, it's their perception. You can change your world, but you cannot forcibly change another's.

I've been rejected twice. But you know what's funny? I'm still amazing friends with those individuals. Why?

You aren't going to get the very first person you develop a crush on.

I have rejected people many times in the past, myself. I have said "I'm happy to just be good friends, though." So I have been on the other side of the coin. For me, turning someone down doesn't feel all that great. That person went out of their way to approach me, and they have all these feelings or just genuinely dig me, and I have to tell them no, and admit that even with those feelings it's not going to get me. I know I may have made them feel pretty down, and I don't like the idea of something I did making someone feel down, or seeing people feel down at all. That's why it hurts, because I care about everyone. So these people whining and bitching about being rejected should understand that there's a chance that, just maybe, the other side disliked rejecting those people just as much as those people disliked being rejected. And hell, that rejection may not at all be permanent. So maybe if those people stopped whining about being friends and just went with it, they might just get a second chance and get asked by the person who rejected them once.

People are just immature and stuck up, sometimes. It kinda pisses me off, but I have to follow my own advice and understand that you cannot force anyone's world to change, they have to, first, accept the possibility of change.

[Alistair]

The term friend zone absolutely should not exist. If a particular individual doesn't see someone as the other sees them, they had best suck it up and accept that that is their decision and nobody else's. Some perceptions are selfish, some perceptions are misguided, but constantly trying to influence someone to perceive one the way one wants to be perceived fits a number of timeless sayings. It's a waste of time, since in the end, it's their perception. You can change your world, but you cannot forcibly change another's.

I've been rejected twice. But you know what's funny? I'm still amazing friends with those individuals. Why?

You aren't going to get the very first person you develop a crush on.

I have rejected people many times in the past, myself. I have said "I'm happy to just be good friends, though." So I have been on the other side of the coin. For me, turning someone down doesn't feel all that great. That person went out of their way to approach me, and they have all these feelings or just genuinely dig me, and I have to tell them no, and admit that even with those feelings it's not going to get me. I know I may have made them feel pretty down, and I don't like the idea of something I did making someone feel down, or seeing people feel down at all. That's why it hurts, because I care about everyone. So these people whining and bitching about being rejected should understand that there's a chance that, just maybe, the other side disliked rejecting those people just as much as those people disliked being rejected. And hell, that rejection may not at all be permanent. So maybe if those people stopped whining about being friends and just went with it, they might just get a second chance and get asked by the person who rejected them once.

People are just immature and stuck up, sometimes. It kinda pisses me off, but I have to follow my own advice and understand that you cannot force anyone's world to change, they have to, first, accept the possibility of change.

Thank you! 

[Trixsie Vixen]

I would just say "what Alistair, Razot and Sytex said" but that seems a little redundant


I dislike the term and (taking the lead from White Wold Guardian) it is probably some stupid thing created on 4chan.


But as for what creates a need for it, Sytex touched on it for me in that it is no fun rejecting someone.  There are lots of reasons that one might not be able to reciprocate a crush.  If you really don't like the person then it's still awkward but not so terrible.  But if you actually do like the person, then saying no is REALLY hard.  Naturally one wants to be kind but also clear but also not risk the friendship you have.  So I think, rejecting someone but emphasising that you value their friendship is a classic move.


Sadly unrequited love is just the worst and so being told you're friends when you want more than that does feel like a negative rather than a positive thing.


Every thing I have ever read about having a crush you can't do anything about (for whatever reason) gives the same advice: to stop thinking about them obsessively and feeling awful constantly get some space.  It's not a matter of "dropping a friend" but taking care of yourself until you can be just friends without the pain.  And yet in that position it is the least desirable choice of action.


So "Friendzone" I think basically is shining a light on that awful feeling of being romantically rejected yet without even the comfort of distance.


This of course comes full circle and now when rejecting someone, it is hard to do so while being kind and clear AND not making them feel friendzoned.


If anyone has a solution to that please let me know

[Twilight Rose]

Being the relationship guru that I am...
The friend zone is when you are viewed as only a friend by your potential crush. Any moves you make to spark a relationship are dismissed as "oh you're so funny, that's why you're my best friend".

This is pretty much it. It gets used as an excuse a lot, like our world tends to do, but the only time it's used correctly is when a crush sees you just as a friend, and attributes anything you intend as flirting to that. It generally only afflicts shy people, or people who are too scared of ruining a preexisting relationship.

[anoni]

I think the "friendzone" in a strict definition isn't exactly terrible.

Its basically just the concept that when an individual is in the "friendzone" the partner they are referring to will see them on the level of "friendship" but will not extend that level to "relationship", with no chance (or seemingly no chance) of ever removing yourself from beyond friendship. A lot of you seem to attribute "The Friendzone" with either the want for sex, or the act of trying to change it, but the word "friendzone" itself entails none of this. It is simply the realization that you there is almost no chance you'll ever be beyond a relationship, but you are still in a friendship. Sometimes this isn't enough for people, so they get upset, that's their choice.

[Rattatat]

Just my own 2 cents.


I don't think that there is a friend zone, its just a superficial title. Romance is a weird thing, and confining things to labels only limits the possibilities to be with someone that would make you truly happy.

[George]

Being the relationship guru that I am...
The friend zone is when you are viewed as only a friend by your potential crush. Any moves you make to spark a relationship are dismissed as "oh you're so funny, that's why you're my best friend".

This is relevant. It's really tough when someone you love doesn't love you back, and sometimes you just gotta distance yourself to avoid the hurt. Sure, yeah, most use of "friend zone" is used by jerks who are angry that they can't get action, but it does have legitimacy from time to time.

[Kipsy]

I'd love to be in more people's friends zones. lol
But seriously, I don't let being left in the so called friend zone bother me.

[Rattatat]

The term friend zone absolutely should not exist. If a particular individual doesn't see someone as the other sees them, they had best suck it up and accept that that is their decision and nobody else's. Some perceptions are selfish, some perceptions are misguided, but constantly trying to influence someone to perceive one the way one wants to be perceived fits a number of timeless sayings. It's a waste of time, since in the end, it's their perception. You can change your world, but you cannot forcibly change another's.

I've been rejected twice. But you know what's funny? I'm still amazing friends with those individuals. Why?

You aren't going to get the very first person you develop a crush on.

I have rejected people many times in the past, myself. I have said "I'm happy to just be good friends, though." So I have been on the other side of the coin. For me, turning someone down doesn't feel all that great. That person went out of their way to approach me, and they have all these feelings or just genuinely dig me, and I have to tell them no, and admit that even with those feelings it's not going to get me. I know I may have made them feel pretty down, and I don't like the idea of something I did making someone feel down, or seeing people feel down at all. That's why it hurts, because I care about everyone. So these people whining and bitching about being rejected should understand that there's a chance that, just maybe, the other side disliked rejecting those people just as much as those people disliked being rejected. And hell, that rejection may not at all be permanent. So maybe if those people stopped whining about being friends and just went with it, they might just get a second chance and get asked by the person who rejected them once.

People are just immature and stuck up, sometimes. It kinda pisses me off, but I have to follow my own advice and understand that you cannot force anyone's world to change, they have to, first, accept the possibility of change.

I could not have said it better myself.