So I'm more confused than ever.
I don't follow any particular religion. Was raised Catholic, but in a very accepting and open-minded home, fortunately enough. I've already turned away from churches, because of how much their message has been corrupted and twisted by the greed, selfishness and cruelty inherent in man.
Anyway, I find aspects of some religions appealing, but others push me away. For example, I like Christianity's emphasis on charity and helping those in need. But concepts such as eternal salvation/damnation just bother me way too much. For eternal salvation, yeah you're in paradise, yeah you're in peace, but you're there forever. Eventually you'll run out of things to do, say, or think. After a long enough time, boredom would turn heaven into hell. As for hell, I think it's unnecessarily cruel to have a person suffer eternally with no hope of ever getting out. Yeah some truly horrible people deserve punishment, but to have the punishment last forever and ever seems rather disproportionate, even for someone like Hitler. Especially coming from someone who is said to be as compassionate and merciful as the Abrahamic God.
The idea of no afterlife at all, that this life is all we get does not feel right to me either. Life, from what I've seen, is way too boring, harsh, unfriendly, cruel and full of bullshit to be worth much of anything. (Don't worry I won't commit suicide. I may hate my life but it's all I have so I'm playing it out to its bitter conclusion). You may stand being alive but that's you.
The Buddhist/Hindu idea of reincarnation really appeals to me. The fact that you get a chance each time you live until you get it right and learn to appreciate the beauty of life (which for the life of me I can't see) seems very fair.
But the idea of anything supernatural fills me with doubt, because since it's beyond the natural realm we inhabit, it is untouchable. The supernatural can't be proven, tested, identified and that bothers me.
Guess I'll find out when cancer kills me.
I have a migraine now.