Relationships?

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

I'm happy to hear about you and Live, Pegulsus!   I always love it so much when I hear other people have gotten together! Back when I had never had a girlfriend before, I always felt sad when someone I knew, or just someone on the forum told about their partner, or practised "PDA" on the threads. Well, slight "PDA" I suppose. Or just spoke kinda lovey-dubby together. I always felt sad, since I didn't have that myself. I felt lonely and slightly worthless. Then I got a girlfriend, and that only lasted for around a month. And not even a month later, I got another girlfriend. That also only lasted for a month, and here I am now. I don't mind hearing about other people's relationships now, since I've been in two myself now, and I know how it is. Now I'm just waiting for the right girl

[Grovygrunge]

So tempted to feign ignorance and start talking about how different psychological approaches think relationships are formed, starting with friendship for added semi off topicness.


I'm currently in a relationship which is going pretty great. We get along well and the guy is awesome and cuddly and all that jazz. We have a nice balance of being different enough to not bore each other and similar enough for it not to create a massive divide.


However I've noticed my approach to relationships and how I see them is not only uncommon but straight up controversial and offensive to some people for reasons which I don't fully understand. When my last partner found out about it, he freaked out and it eventually ended up with me getting sick of him creating arguments over nothing because he was upset about a part of my world view and decided the time for things to end had come.


I really don't see why the way I see human relationships, particularly romantic ones, is such a big deal. Now I practise letting people know at the start so they can freak out and decide to save both of us the hassle.

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

Well, if you don't mind me asking, in what way do you see human relationships? Maybe you said it in your post, and I just couldn't make it out (sorry) but still, I'm kinda curious. It's fine if you don't wanna tell too.

[Grovygrunge]

I did not really mention how I see them.


I basically just see relationships as temporary, like everything else in life. They don't last forever, to claim they do is just cruel to your partner and to expect as such is cruel to yourself. They also aren't as "magical" as people say they are, there is no such thing as the one. There are 7 billion people on Earth, thousands upon thousands of those people are probably compatible with you.


That is not to say relationships aren't special. A relationship is sharing life with someone you've developed very close feelings for, that's something very special and meaningful. It's also no less special if you recognise it has to end someday, you just do with the relationship what you should do with the rest of life. Take it a day at a time and cherish each moment.


But according to some that view makes me an evil loveless bastard. Somehow...

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

Well, first off, it's your opinion. People might feel different about it, and they may think you're this "Evil loveless bastard", as you say, but it's your opinion. I don't really mind it. If you feel that way, well then you feel that way, and there's no way to change it. I, personally, kiiinda believe that there's that special one for everyone. I have my doubts, and I have my hopes, but the feeling is sorta there. Yes, there are a lot of people in this world, but I'm not saying only one of all those 7 billion is the one. I kinda believe that a lot of people can be considered the one for you. People are not perfect, but they shouldn't be either (at least in my opinion). I just think that you also sometimes have to be with a few people to figure out your "relationship preference" and then after that, you can find the one for you. A lot of people get bored of their partner after years of marriage, but a lot of others still love their each other until death. I find it kinda hard to believe that they weren't meant for each other, then. Still, that's just my opinion, and you have your own.

[★Amethyst★]

Eh, I think it's alright if you see relationships that way, if you're open to others about what you think. Having broken up with someone before(twice...) I know that relationships can be temporal, especially if you have differences that are hard to make up. But I don't mind, I'll just take them as they come, including my current relationship.

As for 'the one', I don't believe there is only one other half for each person in the world. You'd never find them if that's the case But still, out of 7 billion people there's going to be plenty that share my interests, worldview, etc. It's similar to friends when I think about it; the few I have now I really get along with and enjoy being with. Relationships are basically the same to me I guess, just with some romance ^^'

[CrazyCat]

Sorry I didn't respond earlier, but thank you for the kind words Ulvus! I appreciate it!

[Proto Triose]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC0u9OgDCdo

^ Truth bombs

[Clare Silvermist]

Single now and probably going to stay single for a very, very long time...

[Detroit]

i would say that i currently have a really strong relationship with my boyfriend hes just the most wonderful person in the world to me

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

I suddenly just began feeling kinda... well, weird in a way. I don't know how to describe it perfectly, but I kinda have a feeling like I miss being in love. And not having a girlfriend or anything, just having a crush in general. That feeling of butterflies in your stomach and everything. I just miss it, and it suddenly came to me. I hope I'll be able to find someone at my next school.

[Dax Declan]

Being in a relationship for me just gives my life a little more direction. When i was single if i ever got upset i had noone to go to. When youre in a relationship where you can share everything it feels like theres been the largest weight in the world lifted off your shoulders. It comes with a whole new world of stress and worries but the feeling of waking up after a nightmare and immediately telling your partner about it and getting a hug just makes it all worth it.

[Ræfóa Aldrnari]

Yeah, I get that, and I definitely felt a lot of it when I was in a relationship as well... except for the last part. See, that's the thing I missed, when I was in my relationships. I've been in two so far (I've told this many times before, but what the heck), and they've both been long distance, with no chance of meeting each other. I missed the closeness, the hugging, the kissing, everything like that. That was also the thing that made me break up both times. Therefore I've decided that if I'm ever gonna get a girlfriend again, she's gonna be close to where I live, or at least here in Denmark.

[Jane]

There's a lot you have to consider, especially if you've never been in a relationship before. You have to take into consideration that there will be bad times, you have to work them out. Being a stubborn person like myself I always seem to contradict myself on that one haha. In the end and at the end of the day its worth it though

[★Amethyst★]

Yeah, I know that feeling of emptiness. I've never had a ton of friends or partners so I'm used to relying on myself/being on my own but sometimes you just want to be able to share what you've been doing lately with someone, or hug a person, or anything else ^^'

I made a cat figurine for my boyfriend and he liked it so that was really nice. I'm usually broke so I find myself making things for people more often than buying stuff, but I guess that's not a bad thing Though after the semester is over he'll be transferring to a different college. It's in the same town but it's still not as convenient as just hanging with him after classes ^^' Hopefully this summer we can plan more stuff to do. One sort of issue (if you can call it that) is that we're both pretty quiet people so we don't always communicate directly. It's not a problem so far but I'd like to try getting us to work on it a little.