Out-of-Context Chat Quotes

[Nishjin]

I don't screw people unless they want me to. And even then, I'm hesitant.

[sha-draw]

R: there I did it.

no you didn't.

R: yeah I did.

oh, you did.

R: sorry its so small.

[Cheza]

"If I were you, I'd have picked green caviar rather than red"

[[INACTIVE]]

Me: Сука Блят (Cyka Blyat)

Person: What does that mean?

Me: You'll fine out...

[Bricket]

Me towards Sha
"You can't just simply eat grenades, Sha"

[Cheza]

"A basket with three kittens born on a certain day to uncertain parents, five traffic cones, twelve slightly rusty tea-spoons and seven bottles of store brand roll-on deo.
Optionally also some dragon tears and that old man that gave you weird looks at the train station last Thursday, but those aren't as important as the egg whisk and untuned violin.
Oh, and above all, don't forget to chant in a heavy and obviously-faked Russian accent while standing on your head with your left big toe in your right ear. Things might not work as intended if you don't."

[Nishjin]

^Lemony Snicket in a nutshell.

[Salakar Crocoli]

"I wonder what stroking feels like."
^In context, this was a perfectly normal sentence

[Cheza]

M: "You know what it's like, traveling by train, just sitting there, staring out through the window?"
B: "Yeah, what about it?"
M: *Deadpan* "It really ruins the mood when the train suddenly goes past the more or less freshly-mangled carcass of a moose"
B: *Random sound of disbelief* "...I bet you'd be really fun at parties."

[Dax Declan]

"I'll take the angry gorilla over the rusty pocket knife"
 My friend loves to give horrific hypotheticals.

[Cheza]

"His parents must have had very good taste when they gave him food"

[Ventus Fall]

"Also, it seems I like Abricot jam. Thanks to you. Great. Now I like healthier things.
But I still only like your Abricot jam.
Just tell no one."

[Alistair]

"Gimme your face"

[Dax Declan]

1: *extends hand for handshake*
2: The **censor** is this?

[Kara]

"No naked Yoyu's please. ... I just said that."
-Me