As I mentioned earlier in the thread (or at least what remains of that post -- I chickened out because it detailed a personal event), my initial description of my dysphoria was very downplayed. It really did affect me, but not in the typical "UGH I'M TRAPPED IN THIS FEMALE BODY I WANT TO CUT OFF MY BREASTS" way many people tend to hear, which is part of why I kept denying I was really trans. But after looking things up more, I learned hatred isn't the only way it can develop.
My dysphoria is more of an awkward discomfort, like my female traits don't really belong. I think they look fine with my body alone, but don't fit me. I often think of myself as a male when I'm not conscious of my body, making note of my masculine traits makes me excited, and I had the urge to increase them somehow before knowing transgenderism was a thing. It was part of the reason why I became addicted to the internet when puberty came about. I was already socially awkward to begin with; developing a figure that didn't feel like mine was the final straw that turned me to isolation. But I got "used" to it, more like developed a shaky apathy toward it, and pretty much toward everything in general. When I heard about transgenderism and FTM transitioning, I was intrigued, but I still kept denying. "I'm just an odd tomboy! That's all! Right?!"
I kept making excuses for the feelings I had, but they kept popping up again and again. Some of you might have seen my profile gender go back and forth between "female","agender", and blank repeatedly. It's a product of my confused moments, and it's happened countless times over the years. In all honesty, all the people hopping onto the trans bandwagon made me more confused and even bitter toward the whole transgender concept. It seems some people using it take gender norms too seriously and therefore claim they're trans, or do it for "unique" cred. I kept thinking that's what I was doing too. It made me severely skeptical, up to denying transgender as a legit thing entirely. But my struggle remained, and I kept wanting to learn more regardless.
Now I've accepted I'm transgender, and plan on starting HRT ASAP. I know getting surgery is going to be a pain in the ass money-wise, so I'd rather not worry myself about that until I get the first stage started.