Trans resources/discussion

[Goblin Cat 😸]

Yes, here I am trying once more to make a thread for trans members of the forum. We have a thread for dysphoria, but I thought specifically, I could make a thread for sharing resources for those that are trans or those who are interested in reading up and educating themselves. As always, please be respectful of pronouns and trans members in general.

I tried something like this before, but it didn't really work out.

So to start off, here's a handy list of trans resources that  some people might find useful.
http://mortimus-maximus.tumblr.com/post/133093937346/trans-resources-please-signal-boost

[The Past]

I'm sorry if that post I made scared people off.

As mentioned in the dysphoria thread, I've wondered if I should have been a boy since I was a little kid. After many years of questioning and denial, as well as some talking with friends and my significant other, I've finally settled on transitioning. I plan on taking T as soon as I have the funds for it.

Luckily, my genetics are already on my side for this, I think. If it weren't for my long hair, hips, and average-size breasts, people could probably mistake me for a short young male at times. My voice is sort-of masculine (in the 12-year-old boy sense, but hey.)
I recently noticed I developed a faint mustache naturally, and it made my day. This might be a good sign for when I start taking T!

[Goblin Cat 😸]

Sounds like you also have gender euphoria, which, as it sounds in comparison to dysphoria, is getting that good feeling when you're correctly gendered or notice things like your mustache. I remember when I was much younger I used to get that feeling when I'd present as male or null gendered on Secondlife. It's another indicator of being transgender, and I probably should have caught on earlier, but I had not been exposed to trans people and had no idea what any of it meant at the time. Either way, good luck, Geoffrey. As I've suggested to most trans people, it's probably also beneficial to find a trans support group in your area so you can share resources and knowledge, including ways to get your HRT covered. I'm not sure what state you live in or what insurance you have, but again, you might be able to have coverage for, at the very least, HRT.

[The Past]

Okay, so there is a word for that. It always made me happy when I noticed or imagined masculine traits with my body. I kept shrugging it off as just some weird fantasy of mine.

Whenever someone referred to me as "he" though (only happens online for mentioned reasons), as much as I liked it, my guilty "must tell the truth" thing in my brain would kick in, so I wouldn't keep that for long.

I'm living in Illinois right now, but I plan on moving to the East Coast within a couple years. I plan on waiting until then since I don't want to stress out my family about it, especially with the money and such. We're not doing too well with that, and my extremely good health insurance had to be dropped due to massive cost (about $400 a month for just me!), my current one is like half that, but even that's too much money for us at this rate. It's pretty cruddy, so I highly doubt it would cover HRT. Makes me wish I accepted things before I had to drop the good one.
But the person I'm moving in with supports my decision and is willing to help when finances get sorted on his end.

As for how my family would think, I'm sure they'd be inquisitive about it at first, but since I have shown notable clues of this throughout my life, it probably won't come as much of a surprise. It's more of a case of them getting used to that idea, fading use of the "daddy's little girl" thing.

Geoffrey is my fursona's name. I'm not sure what to call myself in real life when I transition. As much as I like the name Geoffrey and how he's become so similar to me, he's a separate story character of mine and I don't want much confusion.
I don't plan on changing my identity legally. It seems like a lot of work to deal with, and I'd rather see how well things go before jumping to that. I just want a good name to go by on standby for when I go about in my new life. I'm happy just being in a body I feel comfortable in, even if it confuses people at times.

[Goblin Cat 😸]

You'd be surprised. I'm on the lowest insurance (state insurance) in CT and it covers my HRT and possibly top surgery (I'll be finding that out in January). My best advice, like I said, is finding a support group. Most will be willing to help you figure things out, including legal obstacles when they come.

Also there's no need to feel guilty about being yourself. The truth is, even if you've not undergone any transitioning yet, you are male. Your body is male, even if others will disagree or attempt to distance you from yourself. You're not lying when you say you're a male because you are a male! This, I've found is something that's hard to accept, especially if you've been brought up in the rigid gender binary.

[George]

The truth is, even if you've not undergone any transitioning yet, you are male. Your body is male, even if others will disagree or attempt to distance you from yourself. You're not lying when you say you're a male because you are a male! This, I've found is something that's hard to accept, especially if you've been brought up in the rigid gender binary.

Not to be rude, Mort, but you need to make sure you look at things from both perspectives. You disapprove of people telling someone questioning their gender that they should just accept what they have, but why is it okay to push someone to change? Acceptance goes both ways, and you need to just let people do what they're comfortable with. Don't push someone one way or the other.

Trying to make choices for them is the very reason there's any sort of prejudice in the world in the first place!

[Goblin Cat 😸]

I'm not pushing change on anyone. Evna has said they plan to transition and have always wanted to be male. I am merely reassuring them that even if they didn't transition, they are male because they say they are male. Your body does not dictate your gender and that is that. I was responding to the line that they were fine keeping up male until their body made them feel guilty. Either way, this is an A and B conversation and if you're so concerned with me speaking over Evna, you should let them dictate whether or not I am making them uncomfortable.

[George]

This is an open thread, PM's are A and B. Isn't everyone allowed input on public discussions?

[The Past]

In my personal case, I do accept that I have a female body, and as such I have no problem with people referring to me as female in a physical biological context. I simply feel I would be more comfortable in a male body, and as such my transition is just for myself, not for other people or society and the like. Which is also why I'm in no rush to change my information legally.
The legal stuff is just... legal stuff. A file in record. It's not personal, it doesn't show me as a person. It's me who shows that.

It's possible I may have to change it eventually though, I dunno. I don't expect to change a whole lot appearance-wise while taking T. The most I expect is a lot more hair and a lower-pitched, but not too deep, voice (based on the men in my family). At this rate, top surgery is quite a few years away, and the other surgeries may be impossible, and probably won't be worth the money in the long run, since I'm more concerned with affording to eat than the appearance of my netherbits.

[anoni]

This is an open thread, PM's are A and B. Isn't everyone allowed input on public discussions?

I'm surprised you can't tell the difference between these two scenarios

A: "I'm X"
B: "Just accept that you're Y"

And
A: "I like being Y, but I can't think that way cause I feel guilty about saying I'm not X"
B: "Don't feel guilty, you are Y if you want to be"

One is pushing, one is something else entirely xD


I'm not transgender but I have a lot of transgender friends. And just wanted to interject here xD

[George]

Fair enough. I just thought it looked a too pushy, so I wanted to state the other side of things. I'm not against the transition in general, just the way Mort's description sounded so...obligatory.  The only thing Geoffrey/Evna (not sure which you use right now) said (s)he was guilty about was lying about gender online. So yes, I can tell the difference between the scenarios, but this one was neither of the two you described.

[The Past]

Evnamishko is still my username, Geoffrey is my fursona's name (not trans related). Made it that way so people wouldn't keep getting confused. Maybe I should reverse the order? X_x;;

Edit 1: Eh, **censor** it. Sticking with just my username again. Anyway, yeah. It wasn't a case of me actively lying, it's people assuming I'm male and me feeling the need to correct them due to feeling like I'm lying otherwise.

Edit 2: After learning of some other info, I'm back to questioning if I should actually go through with transitioning. I'd rather not get into why, plus my brain is a bit overloaded right now so I can't really explain well anyway.

[Goblin Cat 😸]

That was more or less me politely trying to say to stay in your own lane, George. I'm not here to argue or push. What I did was exactly scenario 2 of what Anoni described.

And Evna, there's nothing wrong with remaining questioning. Coming to terms with something like that is a process and it happens as you learn and become more comfortable. You are not more or less trans if you do not wish to transition. Being trans is an individualized experience. There is no one narrative. The only thing that dictates whether or not you're trans is whether or not you identify with the gender you were assigned with at birth. If you don't, you're trans. You don't have to ID as male to be trans. Maybe you're nonbinary? Who knows. Not me!

[The Past]

Yeah, I'm still leaning toward transitioning. I was just up all night thinking so deeply about stuff my brain got overheated. I got some sleep and I'm feeling better now.

What I'm worried about is feeding into a fantasy I'll proceed to obsess over if I start transitioning. I want my transition to aid my life, not be my life, basically. I think I just need to get out of the house and settle down the hype before making any firm decisions. I've been isolated for a year due to depression/laziness and it's taking an even bigger toll on my mental and physical health.

[Goblin Cat 😸]

Depression and isolation can be an indicator of dysphoria, just an fyi. Transition will be a big part of your life, if you decide to do it and there's nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't call it a fantasy if it's truly how you feel, but that's just me.

Regardless, found a nice article on the Cosmo website about 17 things not to say to a trans person. It's pretty good read for allies.