Well, it's fun to try and put yourself in another characer's shoes. Between Earth and Crystal's story, I have to do it with over 60 characters. Jack is a thief. Brother to Ameagla Thorin - complete dog, hitting on virtually every woman he sees. He's very acrobatic, but not the fastest whip in the crayon box (combining cliches is fun). So here was mine:
"Because you get a bunch of nuts when all you wanted was a caramel. And it's not even pecans, it's like hazelnuts."
Hi Baz! I don't think I've ever met you. I could be wrong. O.o