The Bad Advice Game

[Ara Av-Toa]

By being a villain number three instead.


How can I avoid all these weird Lazytown references?

[Blue Fox]

There is no avoiding them if pirates are around! They do what they want! 'Cause pirates are free! Imma pirate....  I also wear TWO eye patches. 'Cause I cool like that.....

How can I update to Windows 10?

[Salakar Crocoli]

This is a genuine piece of advice. Don't until you have to.


How do I write a story?

[Blue Fox]

I would ask E. L. James about that one... 

Where can I find a decent babysitter?

[?]

In the middle of a giant desert   




How do I run even fast? 

[Salakar Crocoli]

Cut your legs off at the knee so they have a shorter distance to move.


How do I think of what to say in a conversation?

[Michen_S]

With your toes.

Is there a way to escape gravity without going into space?

[Cheza]

Jump off a tall building while holding a cat and having a piece of buttered toast on your head.
Since the cat will always land on its feet and the toast will always land with the buttered side down, you should start rotating in midair.








How do you boil potatoes?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Wait until they say something foolish then reply with an epic burn.


How do I do the thing?

[Cheza]

Just toss the thingummywut at the whatchamacallit.
Please note that it's got to be those specific things.
While it might be tempting to replace something with a McGuffin, it really shouldn't be done, and a whats-its-name is definitely out.






I'd love to ride around on a dinosaur.
Where can I find one?

[Michen_S]

Have you ever thought of going to the black market? I heard they sell dinosaurs as pets in the underground. And keep it secret, but I don't think it's forbidden to keep one as pet. Hurry up if you want to ride a T-Rex, those are the most popular and are being sold like bread in the supermarket (though a lot more expensive and there's a very limited supply, but it's just to give you an idea).

How can I create toast faster?

[Kara]

Microwave it on high for 5 minutes, remember to add tons of butter.




How do I stop getting people to stop throwing crosses at the back of my head. Despite me being a demon, I'm nice, and that also doesn't work.

[Michen_S]

Say you would like a few more crosses to add to your collection, and encourage them to throw more.
Oh wait, that might actually work too.

Where can I discover more genres of music?

[Blue Fox]

Ask your grandma if you can go through her record and cassette collection. Good stuff in there, I'm sure 

How do I start eating healthy?

[?]

by making your food into a shape that spells the word, problem solved 




How do I get trainer to not evolve me?