The Bad Advice Game

[Michen_S]

Be a monster.

How can I become more creative?

[Ara Av-Toa]

Stare for...
Follow the same instructions as for the instrument, but now with a sheet of paper.


How should it matter?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Because when you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you.




If I get the word "phylogeny" tattooed on my face, what font should I use?

[Cheza]

Papyrus. A very creative and totally not overdone choice.
Comic sans is so 2016. Therefore, it should only be used if you intend to have the recipe for scones tattooed somewhere.








Best way to learn how to drive a car?

[Bricket]

Steal a car and you'll learn how to drive it in the police chase that will happen after the theft.



How do I make lasagna?

[Cheza]

Pour all the ingredients into a bucket and let it stand in room temperature for about a week or so.
Once the smell resembles that of many moons dead carrion, it's ready for the oven.
Sprinkle on some shredded cheese and spices of your choice, then toss it into the oven on this and that many degrees for about an hour or three.
Best served with a take-away menu on the side.






What career should I pursue?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Lion groomer and toboggan builder.  They are basically the same so it's a twofer.




How do I make my aphids grow fat?

[Cheza]

Bring ants, ladybugs and other threats to extinction. Then they will grow both fat -and- plentiful.
And to toughen them up, maybe expose them to small amounts of various pesticides. Just in case.








How do I survive the comfy chair?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Make sure you can list your chief weapons of fear surprise and ruthless efficiency.




Do I take the red pill or the blue pill?

[Bricket]

Why not both?


How do I become admin of the forum?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Learn the secret ways of the Cagon.




How do I put a pirate hat on an angry cat?

[?]

You have to first let it drive a ship then it will realize that the hat belongs on its head 


How do I move my tail faster than anyone else?

[Trixsie Vixen]

Kill everyone!


How do I get my pilot's license super fast?

[Michen_S]

Use a time machine and go into the future. Make sure you set a date after the date you expect to get your license for maximum chance of getting it.

How do I catch seafood with my tail?

[?]

Put a fishing hook through your tail should help 


How do I level up faster?