So I know it's very common for teenagers to have problems with their mom, and in a lot of situations, the mother can be very abusive, verbally and in other ways. My situation isn't nearly as bad as many people have it, but seeing as I've never really had to deal with it before, I'm kind of at a loss for what to do.
Honestly, my mom and I have never been very close. We talk, we're friendly, we joke around, but I'm not close enough to her to consider her more of a friend than a family member. She's a very kind person, though she struggles with depression. To try to cope, she takes lots of different pills and such, but she's a very forgetful person and doesn't always take them. When she doesn't, or she's switching to a new pill, she tends to be very teary and easy to upset. She's like that normally, but it's more noticeable at these times. Lucky for me, I sort of inherited her turbulent emotions. I have depression, though it isn't as bad and I'm not taking any meds for it, and I'm really good at crying when I shouldn't which can really make confrontation difficult for me if it's not through text or something.
So, recently mom has been switching to a new drug, dunno what it does, but apparently her old drug has really bad emotional withdrawal. She's been really emotional lately, but that really hasn't changed much besides making it a little awkward when she's upset over banana muffins not being something I like. But a first time thing happened today where my mom said some things that actually made me feel like crap. Like, not the normal "Whoops, that kinda hurt" sorta stuff that can happen in everyday conversation, but like "How can you not see that that was really insulting" kind of stuff.
Specifically, she was talking to me about getting a job which kind of set me up to be annoyed (though I know she's right and I should try to get work exp), then she questioned if I'm getting any college letters (like how my sister got 40 thousand in her Junior year of high school). When I said no (excluding the ones that I had gotten from signing up on college mailing lists), she started talking about my GPA, finally saying "Well, it's not your sisters." I talked to my sister who I'm like best friends with about it, and now she's annoyed that mom would use her as a comparison to me, especially when we have such different career choices. (mine being video game designer and hers being a teacher and social scientist). Later, I mentioned that my friend (who hasn't got the best grades) was on the wait list for my school which is meant to be harder to get you ready for college. She asked if it was really a good idea, and when I said I could help him, she did her thing where she starts with "Well you..." and then tried to restart her sentence 4 times until saying that I have my own trouble with school.
While what she said is true, and I have a lot of issues with doing my homework, I'm pulling B's and A's in most of my classes and have not gotten below a C on a semester grade in my entire time in high school because I've found ways to survive while only giving 50%. My sister was pretty much the same as me, though she had much more of a drive to work than me, so she usually just got A's and B's with no trouble. I don't like that my mom is using my sister as a goal to reach when we are perusing very different things, and she doesn't seem to understand that, unlike my sister, I have to learn most of what I need to become a game designer outside of school on my own because my school doesn't have the money to offer courses in computer coding and whatnot. She's making me feel like I'm not trying hard enough because I don't hold any value in a school that isn't teaching me what I need to know for my careers path and I'm not as studious as my sister, yet I'm not getting a job to make up for that.
I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this here, but I guess I'd love some advice on how to deal with this. The sudden blow to my self esteem is really ruining my day, and I would really like some advice on how to deal with family members you don't like to much, as well as what I could do to improve my current situation. That includes tactics to deal with school when you're not studious or committed, and whether I should be trying to get work experience now or work on learning what need to know for making video games.
TLDR; My mom said some stuff to me today that unintentionally made me feel like shit, which is a first. I don't really know how to deal with it, and I just want advice from other people who have strained relationships with family.