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Author Topic: The Old City  (Read 874 times)

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Offline dvdog

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The Old City
« on: March 15, 2016, 05:11:01 PM »
This is my first story so I would appreciate it if you give me feedback and some constructive criticism. I have written other things before but now I have the confidence to write something online so don't criticise too harshly and thanks for deciding to read this so hear we go, oh and just a warning the chapters are going to be short until I get use to posting stuff. Have a nice day. :3                         
Chapter1
The broken statuesque buildings left bare for centuries are literal frozen ice blocks, the snow is thick enough to reach your abdomen and cold enough to freeze blood. Anyone would crazy to explore the once lavish utopia that contained horrendously talented beings, now it's infested with bandits and pirates, hoping to get their filthy paws on whatever riches remain in this once wonderful land. Dawn stares from his lab through his intecate and expensive telescope at the little chunk that remains from the platinum era. Dawn begins to get irritated at his meat head of a brother Ray suddenly decides that inviting the twins Dancer and Dodger Tailfur was a good idea "Ray! I'm trying to work here!" he shouted which was allmost instantly replied with "Do you have something against the twins cause I don't." In an almost snarky manner. He sucked in a breath and spat it out as a sigh, he had more important things to deal with like why there was the legendary key to the old city in his mothers vault  "where ever you are I'll find you mum." He said hopefully                                                                                                                                              Rewind backwards about 14 years ago. Jasper shouts out in shock as she hears gunfire on the other side of the wall she knows what's going to happen the same thing that happened to Furwic her old partner. Even with that sense of dred using her agile panther body she springs into action and knocks down the the door and bolts to the to the bottom floor gunfire cackles from their cases as she runs. Now where are the two rookies, jasper got them into this mess she can get them out right?
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