Q1 - Why deviate your gender?
I think this is important to start off with: I want to say that gender is something else than sex.
Someone who is physically a male can have the mind of a female and vice versa. There are many variations/combinations/degrees, but I think it's very important in this discussion to clarify. Not everyone who has a gender which differentiates from their sex wants to physically be the other gender.
E.g. the difference between transgenders and transsexuals:
"Transgender people are people who have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their assigned sex. Transgender people are sometimes called transsexual if they desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another."
Basically transsexuals want/need to take steps to physically change. Transgenders do not necessarily want/need to take these steps.
Some people feel they are indeed 'born in the wrong body'. There are more and more studies and research looking into this and with some surprising results. Your gender is also determined by factors while you're still in the womb, depending on the amount of testosterone you get when being an embryo. For example check out this article:
http://healthdoctrine.com/hormones-factors-in-fetus-gender-and-child-future-development/ There are many more articles and studies related to this.
Basically, the answer to your first question and to put it crudely: Your brain decides, even from the moment you are being shaped and formed the basis is being set what you are gender-wise.
There are other factors as well, but this seem to play the largest part.
Q2 - Whats the deal with this and that...?
Disclaimer: My next statement might offend some people. I'm not actively trying to, but as I said in the title, I'd like some opinions
Whats with all the 'extreme' stuff? Like, I can understand either wanting to be male, female, one sometimes and another other times, but... Neither? Both at the exact same time? What brought a decision like that around? (sorry for poor wording, can't think of any other way to word it). I especially can't wrap my head around being agender, because isn't the point of deciding on a gender (if you ever decide to deviate it) to aid in defining yourself? I mean, you could say you aren't really any... thing...? I'm really not sure here...
You might have thought about this already, but it's not a 'decision' people make.
Besides the hormones, psychology and other factors... In fact even small choices you make like how you're going to answer a question or respond to certain situations is already pre-determined in your brain (discussions about free-will is a topic for another time). Your brain already has this... for a lack of a better word... 'manual' set up before anything happens.
In other words, the same can be said for this. You don't make a decision, you have no free will in what your gender is. You either are or are not a certain gender.
That all aside, when someone is agender doesn't mean they are 'nothing'. It means they are neither. Like how 0 (zero ) is not nothing. It's something. Just like how a blackhole is 'nothing': It is something, not nothing.
When people are agender they neither identify as a male or female (or anything else). They don't feel like they have female characteristics/traits or male characteristics/traits. Heck, you even have adrogynous people (having neither physical male nor female characteristics). So it wouldn't be too weird to assume you also have 'neither' with genders.
That all aside, it is so odd to label things. You can already see with genders as with other subjects there are just so many various things. It's impossible to create a label/group just to identify someone. However, labels also help mostly for others to understand someone. It's a weird paradox that humans are trying to deal with.
So we come up with more and more labels.
Like I said, you either are something or not. You do not choose to be it. There just happens to be various words and terms to describe yourself and to fit yourself in a group (if one would desire, but I wouldn't have cared myself
).
Q3 - Do any of you guys and gals (and everything in between or outside those barriers) get offended or nittled when gender isn't taken into consideration?
I don't mean when people say "No, you're not a girl, you're a guy." and vice-versa. I mean in cases where the only two genders being used are 'male and female'. Or when people say there are only two genders.
I am genderfluid, so I don't care if someone calls me 'he/him' or 'she/her'
I would prefer if people refer to me as a guy overall, however. In fact I am probably one of the few people who don't mind being called 'it' either. I don't see the word 'it' as a negative thing, moreso as an ungendered word. In Dutch for example they have two articles (instead of the one article in English 'the'). The Dutch have 'de' and 'het'.
'De' is when a word is characterised being male or female (or plural). 'Het' is used when a word has no gender (is ungendered) or when the word is 'smallified'. (An example when a word is 'smallified': the chair =
de stoel, the small chair =
het stoel
tje).
It sounds odd, but bare with me.
Maybe it's because of this and also me never understanding why people see 'it' as something negative to begin with, but I've never seen the word 'it' as something negative myself or only to describe inanimate objects or such. I've seen it as an ungendered word.
So no, I don't get offended, and frankly while I understand sometimes why some people can get offended in these types of situations I think people overall should accept that people see how they are physically and have a need to categorise others. If they see you are female, they will more likely call you a woman, whether they mean to offend you or not is usually not the question. A lot of people don't know or understand -nor can ever understand- who someone is mentally, how they actually feel and identify as.
I think on that aspect everyone can be a little more tolerant.
(Although when someone is actively trying to anger you by mentioning you're the gender you're not when you've explicitely stated to that person you identify yourself as something else, then that is very rude of course and not considerate.)