How would you battle the fur above?

[Firox]

*dodge first pie but get hit by second*
*I try to was it off*

*grrr* "your gonna get it now"

[?]

*smears the pie on their nose*

[Firox]

"Too sticky!!"
*shoving face in river*

*try to slam tail on ?, washiing face in river, don't see where tail slams, do feel it*

[?]

*gets pusheded down under the tail, paws the air trying to get nose again*

[Firox]

*my nose still far from ?, once cleaned I turn back*
"Hopes you was nice to my tail, it didn't do anything to you"

*I turn around giving it a gentle brush, leaving nose within pawing reach*

[?]

*pushes more pie onto their nose*

[Firox]

*I start to lick face over after throwing pie*

[?]

eeep *tries to block trying to push them back*

[Firox]

*keeping up icy licks*
"Thank you"

[?]

eeep *tries to hide paws and roll out of the way but tail holds down* grr 

[Firox]

"Got ya now, no nibbling it either, you knows I can't stand the tail nibbles*
*I try to pour another pie for easier sweet tasting licks*

[?]

*tries to push the pie back at them*

[Firox]

"Nice try"
*holds down tighter with tail - try to turn pie so it lands on you*

[?]

eee *gets distracted as pie land on me making me get covered fully, paws around in air as hard to see for a minute* grr, going down for that 

[Firox]

"Good luck, held down not much you can do"
*proceed to lick the pie, starting with face*