How Has the Fandom Influenced You?

[MuttButt]

There are a lot of furs I know for whom the fandom has had a pawsitive impact, myself included. I'd love to hear your stories about how involvement in the fandom has enriched your life or perhaps even saved it or taken you off a dark path. I'll start with my own story, although I have shared some part of it in a different thread already. This might get a little long, but hopefully it's worth the read.


Like many people, my interest in the furry fandom began with curiosity and unsupervised internet access. Initially I saw myself as a person who enjoyed the aesthetic only and had no interest in interacting with the community apart from occasionally role-playing and searching for art/smut. In fact I kept people at arms length and I was obsessively concerned with keeping my furry identity and my normal life separate, a fiercely guarded secret.


In retrospect, this secretiveness came hugely from a deep rooted sense of self-hatred and shame, and a fear of expressing who I really was without receiving judgement from the world around me. The furry fandom was a safe and anonymous way to craft a persona that I could use to freely express myself without it being attached to my actual identity, free from societal pressures and the judgement of real people in my life, which is why the prospect of friends and family stumbling on my furry side or furry friends connecting the dots was so terrifying. It exposed me, and I wasn't ready for people to see me for what I really was. I didn't even like the idea of imagining my furry pals as real people behind their fictional characters.


I didn't realize how heavily living this way was weighing on my heart until I had the privilege of attending my first convention at the age of 19. It was an experience I thought I would never take an interest in, but a generous friend who is very dear to my heart offered to pay for my flight, registration, and room out of her own pocket, and such an offer was too good to pass up on.


Going into it, I really thought I'd hate it. Or at least I'd be massively uncomfortable most of the time. But even with the hour I had subconsciously realized something that I would only be able to articulate by the end of the con, as I choked back tears on the ride home wishing it didn't have to end. I didn't have to be ashamed or worried what people thought, because for the first time in my life, I was surrounded by people just like me, or even weirder, and all of them were just so bright and cheerful and silly, they didn't give a hoot how ridiculous they looked in their fursuits and their pup masks and their fruity outfits. All of the sudden I was in this little world where I could wear my heart on my sleeve and it could all be normal for a while, and it was so...so, intoxicating.


I'll spare you the dirty details of the con for now, but sufficed to say, it was breathtaking. I met so many wonderful and kind people, many of whom I'm still friends with to this day. I had all kinds of fun, I barely slept, I kissed my first boy, I walked around till I got blisters on my feet and couldn't give less of a crap cuz there was just so much to do.


For the first time in my life I learned what it was like to be unapologetically, unabashedly myself, and it felt so right. I learned how truly special the furry fandom was as a community, although even then I would have no idea at the time how many incredible friends and unforgettable experiences that they would bring me. From that point onward the furry fandom would be solidified as critical part of my identity rather than just a shameful kink to hide from the world at all costs.


I can say with quite some confidence that that con and my subsequent involvement in the community for years to come changed my life drastically. My journey is far from over, but I've come so far from being that pathetic, insecure, edgy and loathsomely self-conscious teenager to actually being comfortable in my own skin, being kind and compassionate to others, and pursuing every endeavor and relationship in my life with genuine and earnest enthusiasm; haters, prudes, and bigots be damned. Words can hardly describe how liberating it is to not be afraid to be me, and to be surrounded by friends that accept me for who I really am. There will always be a big slice of my heart reserved for every one of you beautiful fuzzbutts.




For those of you who read the whole thing, I appreciate your time. Now I would really love to hear similar stories from you! I sincerely doubt I'm the only furry who's heart has been touched in a profound way by such an amazing community.

[WingedZephyr]

I personally consider being a part of the furry fandom as more of a hobby than identity, but it is still deeply woven into my life.

I've crossed path with a heck of a lot of people here on this forum and elsewhere because of it. I've met some of my best friends through it. It inspires me to create art and other crafty things. It's something both my husband and I can enjoy together. The fandom has given me both emotional and financial support. And I've given a lot to it, but I've also seen a lot of people giving back.

Much like you, Matty, I think the fandom tends to attract a certain kind of people, and I quite like the people I find. I've never really found any other place that can be so open and welcoming. I've seen it change lives for the better. I've seen it give people a confidence they never knew they had. I've seen people who were all alone find company.

There are issues of course as with any other group of people, but I like it here. Overall I think it's a pretty fantastic place to be.

[anoni]

The furry fandom has been an important part of my life, like Zeph I consider it more of a hobby rather than an identity, but the community I met has been extremely influential in my life. Lets just list the contributions that the furry fandom has given me

 - Helped me come to terms with my sexuality: Although I knew I was gay before the I joined the fandom, the fandom was pivotal in giving me the confidence of coming out and really accepting myself, to the point that my sexuality I did not consider a problem.
  - Helped me find my partners: I've been in 4 relationships with 3 different partners, all but one of them we met in the furry fandom, and for the one where we didn't meet in the furry fandom (my first and current partner) we met before the fandom but became very close with joining the fandom at the same time.
  - Helped me find a community in which I felt I belonged: During my edgy teen period I wished to have a community I felt truly accepted in, I was part of a gaming clan but even then I wasn't able to show my true self. TFF to me was an oasis in the internet and through it I was able to feel much more confident in my self and feel like I belonged.
  - Gave me some of the greatest friends in my life: Nuff said, TFF and the aussie fandom have made me some fantastic friends that I'll treasure for my entire life.

I think the both of you are correct in that a lot of the positives come from the welcoming environment, and although when you dig into the furry cliques and so forth you can find the unwelcoming parts, overall (and especially TFF) the environment is extremely welcoming

[MuttButt]

 - Helped me come to terms with my sexuality: Although I knew I was gay before the I joined the fandom, the fandom was pivotal in giving me the confidence of coming out and really accepting myself, to the point that my sexuality I did not consider a problem.

I sort of implied this in my post, but this is also a big one for me. It's hard to imagine myself being this comfortable with my sexuality or this aware of LGBT issues and psychology if it weren't for the fact that I was exposed to many LGBT people through it, and provided this judgement-free, largely anonymous venue for exploring that side of myself. I could very well still be closeted or even somewhat homophobic.

[L4BY_]

If I hadn't joined the fandom, I wouldn't have met the wonderful friends I have today, I would've resulted in me not joining the brony fandom, I wouldn't have traveled to Netherlands, nor would I have met my awesome boyfriend. So yeah, the fandom has made my life a lot happier! ^^

[AceAurora]

For me, being a furry is more of a hobby like cosplay. That being said, I have made friends from being a furry that otherwise I would never have meet. I learned how to dance for when my suit is complete so I can dance at Califur. I also have been allowed to express my feelings with different fursona, like $eppku or Rod Knock.

[Doops]

This is quite the interesting question, though for myself I can't imagine it has changed me very much. Aside from some minor things, I don't imagine myself being very different if I hadn't been in the fandom. Though with questions such as these there is a lot of assumption to be made, so who knows. I could be a completely different person if I had not joined the fandom.