The line between pessimism and realism

[Ginger Ale]

I've decided I don't want to be a pessimist anymore. Thing is, I know that my brain would keep me from deluding myself. There's a half of me who'd never let the other stop being a realist.

I have to find the line between pessimism and realism, but I don't know how I'd do it. Any advice, no matter how detailed or sparse, is greatly appreciated.

[Athlaros]

Hm. Well, first things first - don't let yourself tell yourself only the worst will come. Realism is understanding what might happen, but pessimism is understanding what will happen will be bad. Don't pretend like the world is all bad, but understand that there is bad.


Hope that helps. I'm a bit stumped myself at your predicament but I want to help.

[Michen_S]

How do I even explain this...

Let's tell a story. Say, you're playing a video game with a friend, and the battle gets tough. You're both down to your last life. In a clutch, your friend accidentally uses a move that has a 40% chance of killing you instantly, but if it misses it'd kill him instantly. However, the results of the move are still up in the air because of an animation playing that belongs to that move.

A pessimistic viewpoint would be that you expect you'll be the one that ends up dying in the end.
An optimistic viewpoint would be that you expect he'll be the one that ends up dying in the end.
A realistic viewpoint would be that you'd expect the most likely outcome (he dies) with the acknowledging that it can still be the less likely outcome (you die). That, or the odds are so close that you expect both things or don't even know what to expect! Nailbiting ensues...

Of course this is just one example. Most of the time the viewpoint on something depends on the person you ask, the situation that person is in and what the viewpoint is about. And often enough the lines between these three viewpoints can be blurry. It's rarely so cut-and-clear as I described in the example above. Many events also don't have a set chance of happening, there's just a "likely", "maybe", "probably" and "at this rate". Also keep in mind that many events, both good and bad, can mess with our perception of what the chances are of something happening later in life.
Your decision that you don't want to be pessimistic anymore is one event in particular that can change how you view the odds of something happening. Let's not talk about what the odds are on that event permanently changing your viewpoint - that depends on your personality and what you want to do to make that change. It's all up to you now.

I wish you the best of luck. If you ever need to talk to someone, we'll be here for you.

[Rocco Rex]

I was in this situation too. For me, I had to catch myself everytime I thought I was being pessimistic (which was almost all the time) and have to manually reevaluate the situation. Took plenty of work and things going right before it started to click

[anoni]

I think aspiring for either or even optimism is bad, it's this silly mindset that we have where we want to find the truth of it all. If you want to be a better self then instead of deciding I'm going to think more positively, or negatively or more realistic, think explicitly in terms of productivity.

Don't ask if the glass if half full or half empty, ask which version will benefit me the most. Being an optimist is good for emotional support, if something bad is happening and there's nothing you can do about it then constantly stressing over it is not going to help anybody, it's just making things worse for pointless reasons. As well if you feel like things will fail before you even try them then you generally will stagnate and won't take risks which is important in succeeding. Being a pessimest grounds you and makes sure you don't overstep your own capabilities and prediction of the world, always have a back up plan, always have an idea that things won't turn out the way you expect it and be able to prepare yourself to adapt to unexpected situations.

At the end of the day focus on the way of thinking that'll help improve yourself. There are three metrics of success, social, career and personal. Make sure you are trying to see things in a way that makes you likeable, that makes you employable and that makes you happy. It's easier said than done but that's what you should inspire too.

[Ginger Ale]

Thank you everyone. I'm gonna need some time to work on this, but your responses really do help!

[flurry]

Yea I do think the whole optimism and pessimism thing is unnecessary.
Things are cause and effect. What matters is what actually could happen and that you go into things with a constructive attitude. In fact sometimes when you face the so called negative, you actually improve things for yourself in big ways. You just need to have a mindset that actually helps you in life, and that's really about it.

[mylokgl]

from the perspective of neuro chemistry the left hemisphere of the brain is responsible for wanting, thinking, and feeling. and then the right hemisphere is responsible for protecting, providing, and cherishing. all natural women and left handed men have a faster bridge (see corpus callosum) between the two putting together sensory response faster than natural right handed men. its always good to give a heads up if the left hemisphere must manifest in a relationship/conversation. also see chakras or my pinterest for detailed files on human biology and physiology developed by infographics from college student and individuals that associate with recovery. https://www.pinterest.com/mylokgl/boards/


-recovery and furry
jason s

[L. Jay Echoes]

Pessimism - hating the way things are and pouting about it.

Realism - hating the way things are but changing things (within your power) a little at a time.

[Moonraiser]

Personally I feel like a little pessimism is healthy. The big question here is whether or not your pessimism is getting in the way of your happiness.