Always an answer.

[Emtile]

Why is it that whenever I have something planned to say, my parents always say something to derail me, to the point where I have nothing to say, nothing to answer them with besides a shrug or "I don't know" or just do nothing but stare? I'm sick of them cutting me off or blowing my answers off as "not good enough." And they fire back with something witty and shattering my point that i was trying to make. They write it off as stupid, they think i'm stupid, everyone thinks i'm stupid or below them. Always have answers for everything I say. Always have better options for everything i try.
 I can't do it, i can't live in idea of constant perfection, constant disdain, constant yelling, constant pain, constant depression, constant rejection. I'm not going to do this anymore. I will not do this anymore. Like a roller coaster, spinning in circles, i am going to derail it and make it out of order permanently. No ones going to ride it after i go on it. No one anymore.

[Rocco Rex]

With all due respect, **censor** your parents. Sounds similar to home for me....
But seriously, **censor** your parents. They are apparently going to say you fail at everything, aren't good enough, etc. no matter what. You don't need people like that in your life. Find what YOU want to do and do it. If they eventually realize they were dumbasses and you feel like letting them back in, then go ahead. If you don't, then tell em to scram. They have their motives and desires at heart, not yours. So **censor** them. It'll probably take some time and some pain to get out from under them, but it'll be worth it. It took me joining the Marine Corps for my dad to back the **censor** off (in part cuz I can just ignore anything he says no as I am not there in person). he even started coming around to the fact that I'm not a failure. Will he ever say he was wrong? Totally doubt it. Will I let him back in? Barely. I keep him very much at arms length