Stupid criminal stories

[L. Jay Echoes]

Last Christmas was the third in a row where some prowler or scammer paid a visit to my parents' neighborhood. In 2016, some burglars were roaming around, breaking into people's cars and picking up whatever loose goods they could get their hands on. This took place late in the evening before they were caught. In 2017, some weirdo showed up claiming to be a student looking for a place to stay, and my parents offered to call the police, let him spend a night in the slammer.

Last year takes the cake, however. Sometime around 8:00 in the morning, the neighbor's dog was barking at someone in the backyard. The neighbor called my mom to ask if she had any company. Why? Because stumbling across the backyard was a man wearing an overcoat, black gloves and a black ski mask. Mrs. Nextdoor, just what kind of company do you think my parents keep?

So, to all burglars out there. Do not plan your big ol' heist to take place in the morning. That is when everyone is awake. Black camouflage does not work at that point.

You guys have any stupid burglar stories?

[Armalite_]

Christmas holidays are a very common time for break-ins. I caught a guy casing my neighbors house late at night when I went out to smoke at 2am. I live on a corner of an intersection, and this guy parked his car on the street beside my house. When I go outside, I just stand in the dark because I can't be bothered to turn lights on. It was obvious the guy didn't see me standing there, but he pulled up in his car, got out, walked across the street to the house in front of mine, hopped over their small fence, and started looking in through windows.

So I walked over to his car and took pictures of his plates, model and color. I walked back up to my door and stood there, waiting to see if he would break in. He ended up quickly returning to his car to get what sounded like tools because it was a lot of metal clanging when he was rummaging through it. It was at this point I'd seen enough.

I went back inside to get my gun and started dialing 911. I told the operator what was going on and they told me to remain indoors and I complied. I didn't want to shoot anyone that night and I wasn't looking for a fight. Within a few minutes police sirens were in the distance, I guess the guy got spooked and took off. Cops flooded my street shortly after. No idea if they found the guy but he never came back.

[Brisky]

I read about some guy in America just waltzing into a wallmart with an employee vest on, getting behind a register and helping customers out, and at the end of the day just proceeding home with all the cash from the register.

As hilarious as this sounds, it's actually pretty stupid, because this plan inhibits you from wearing any kind of face protection, and a wallmart will have security cameras everywhere, giving the place's managers (who will immediately find out they're short on a couple thousand dollars) a nice look of your face from a healthy variety of angles, and make sure that the autorities know exactly what you look like.



A stupid criminal thing that actually happened quite recently in the comfort of my very own good ol' hometown was a couple of blokes robbing a shoe store at 9 in the morning.
They really did their homework for it. They had a stolen moped to escape on, tools and stuff. And looked like they were solidly prepared for the heist of their lives.

Except for that a shoe store at 9 in the morning on a friggin weekday won't exactly have a plentifull amount of loot for you.

They got about 160 dollars worth of change from the register. Which was undoubtedly not even enough to make up for all the effort they put into stealing a moped, and all the other preparations they did.