"Always be prepared.", I said, and with that I walked up to the porch and began to act like a salesman. "Good evening, sir. And how are you today?"
"You get off my property you no good sack of scum!"
"But, don't you even want to hear what I have to sell?"
"Not from a little wet-behind-the-ears punk who looks like he just finished grade school!"
"Well, I'll tell ya anyways..."