Randomly heard these, some are kinda weird/gross:
What Do Christmas and a Cat In the Dessert Have In Common?
Sandy Clause
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Why did the first monkey Fall Out Of the Tree?
Because It Was Died
Why Did The Second Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree?
Because It was Staple To the first monkey
Why Did The Third Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree?
Peer Pressure
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This young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in west Texas. He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli. After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "if you aint goin' to eat that, mind if i do?" The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead." Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chilli. The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too"
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Person 1: Err It smells like Up dog in here
Person 2: Whats Up Dog?
Person 1: Ah nothing much, you?