furry knights

[PhantomStone]

ok this is a new story i doubt any one will want to rp this so i'll just write the story and not even put up the rp anyway some one comment please so i can write some moar. thanks commants and such are appricated (slamming my work will not)

trowa breathed deeply and opened her eyes once again, she held up her sword waiting for her oppenent to cross swords with her. the dark panthar glared and crossed swords with her. he was 15 years old a newly made squire.

 "squire alex" the training instructor sir james said to the panthar. he was a kangaroo rusty red in color, extreamly well built and strong "page trowa are you two ready to spar" he asked looking at the panthar and the mecha infront of him

"i've been ready"alex said glaring at the girl infront of her, his dark secretive face closed, the skin on his small muzzle pulled back at the top in a large cat glare. "this little upstart has been all high and mighty for too long"

alex was refering to the new alliance between the mechas with the rest of the empire. in the last year the empire had given new land to the mechas, the ursus' have been taking the mechas land, in an act of despricativity they allined them selves with the empire. but the damage was done, the mechas added what was left of there land to the empire, now the mechas had a province of the large kindom to control. trowa was next in line for the largest part of the land, she was the daughter of the king of the mechas. she wasn't in line to rule, her brother would have to assume the responsibility when her father would leav her, if they still were a country. as of the alliance her brother and father were some of the kings closest friends.  she was intraining to be a knight of the kingdom, the first mecha to become a knight of [i'll come up with a name later]

"ready, set go" the kangaroo said jumping back

the dark cat retracted his sword and lunged in with incredible speed trowa brought her arm in and once alex's blade was just a few inches away from her she deftly twisted her sword, her cross guard knocked his sword off path, then she brought her sword down and widened the distance a hair then rushed in.the dark cat smiled as her side stepped the lunge and brought his sword back fast and kncked her in the head trowa blacked out and fell down, only a quick twist and roll saved her as alex swong his sword around and plunged it into the earth trowa scrambled to get her sword and grabbed it and swong at the dark cat and tried to rise. alex kicked the mecha down and swong down trowa closed her eyes alex's blade tapped her skull and he stepped away "pifft i told you cleon, she's not ready" he said walking off

trowa glared at alex's back, she had just started training 5 years ago in her old kingdom, this was her first week in this new one. in the old kingdom they had spent much time stratigising and building, they were a peaceful nation befor ethey were invaded. she sighed and got up, she would show that cat, she would learn, what else was there for her to do.

"titan" sir james said to the metal girl next to nim "you are to give me a 2 page essay on why you lost, by tomarrow, now give me 20 pushpulls" he said dropping some heavy disks on the ground next to her and walked away

trowa sighed and fell down and started doing what she was told she had something to prove, she wasn't a naturle with fighting, but her father had told her before "we can learn anything" that was his reply one evening when trowa had asked him what could the mechas do, on the eve of the alliance pact thats what he had said. now she had to learn to fight, she would learn "come on titan" she said to herself "make him proud" she said staring at the grass and working her mechanicle arms hard "make him and gett proud"

[Somebody]

Its a nice story, yours always has that newage tint to them thats interesting. Plus they are usually pretty steeped in action and combat.

Also I should say that there will be NO slamming of any literature as long as Im here as moderator. The entire section is devoted to the enjoyment of literary arts and the help of devloping the writing skills. Not to flame. So don't worry write with leisure, just dont break the rules

[PhantomStone]

thanks a lot tezz, i won't intentionaly break any rules man. thanks a lot. does the coloring help with the story at all?


trowa pulled on a silk tunic and hose, gray and black colors for the kingdom of mechas, with a green and white under shirt for [again i have to find a good name any sugestions?] she sadly stepped out of her room in the pages quarters, and looked around nerviously, and walked to the great hall for food and drink, for the older members of court. aparently in this country the pages served the court for dinner and other events.

"oh look it's the walking tin can" alex said laughing with his friends.

trowa shook her head and walked quickly to the feast hall. ignoring the panthars jibs behind her

"hoy" a green raptor said walking up to the mecha ignoring the other fur's behind him "hullo" he said, he was dressed in green and gray silk, much the same way trowa was

"umm hi" she said after a seconds thought. she didn't know who this was, but he seemed nice, she slowed down a bit to let him catch up

"you must be trowa of titan" he said catching up and laughing, his long legs covering the distance between them quickly "i'm tezztor of taku, welcome to the palace" he said holding out a scaaled hand his maw curved up in a smile

"wow nice to meet you" she said she looked him in the eye, they were a green, teal, black color, very deep the black horns on his head seemed to sprout backwards as if he was running as fast as he could, a black ridge going allong his head and down his neck. she looked at his hands as the black almost armor curved around his fingers.

the raptor coughed after a few seconds of akward silence, "i'll see you inside" he said running off to the great hall, wondering why the mecha who he had been taught were the most socially gifted, of any race they knew about

trowa shook her head, and started off after him as the bell summoning all but the defest people in the castel to dinner. she ran off, he was the most interesting and nice person she had ever met. she shook her head, she had work to do. she would puzzle over tezztor of taku after dinner and studys. "hmm" she puzzled walking down the hall

[Somebody]

The colors differentiate the lines some but I don't think they are required. However theres no reason you can't use em either if it makes you feel more comfortable.

[PhantomStone]

trowa rose with the clang of the bell in the hugh tower of the palace. she had fallen into bed without a second thought. she groaned and tired to rise out of the warm bed. with an iron will she was famous for back home she got up and walked over to the wash room, she had an hour till training with sir james. she rushed into the wash room and cleaned up. shivering after the cold water had washed over her, she looked around and found her canvass training gear, allong with her wieghted harness. she slipped into both and grabbed her sword and ran out the door, and almost ran into the large raptor she had met the other day. it was only by his quick reflexes that she didn't crash into him.

the raptor looked startled as he twisted and the mecha barrled past him. "where's the fire?" he asked already in a fighting stance. a smile on his maw

trowa stammered apoligses while trying to look less like a babbling fool in the middle of the hall way. "i'm so sorry sir i-"

"it's tzztor" he said sternly he was older but he wasn't a knight. he fingered his fore arms, where, unassumingly were 2 leather bracers.

"sorry tezztor" trowa said embarrased. she looked down at her heavy leather boots.

"no problem" the tall raptor said patting the metal girl on the head and gently pushing her to the pages dining hall "come on were gonna be late for food" he said, the green and lighter green scales almost shimmering in the sunlight streaming through the windows in the early morning sun

trowa caught her self staring and shook her head and continued on, she was glad she had a visor over her face all the time, she probably would look like an even bigger idiot if anybody saw her face. she looked again at the raptor he looked to be about 2 or 3 years older than she was. "ummm" she said looking at a fork in the passage way, she was new here, and this was her third day here.

"come on" tezzor smiled and walked to the left, this mecha was something else, only to stop and look longingly at a silver dragoness walking swiftly the other way, her scales a peerlecent gray and silver her eyes a beautiful saphire blue.

trowa saw him stare at the dragoness, she elbowed him in the ribs "hey man, earth to taku" she said poking his head smiling behind her mask

tezztor snapped back to reality when the little mecha started tapping his head, "hey planet daydream to titan" he said smiling at the girl next to him, he looked back at the beautiful dragoness as she gracefully swept from the hallway

trowa shook her head she could tell he was smitten, all her friends back home would act like this, she smild sadly, but got over it. "come on man, how are we supposed to become knights on an empty stomach" she said warming up to her new friend, mabey this year won't be so bad after all she thought walking down the hall as the strong raptor easily kept pace with the younster, still thinking about the beautiful dragoness.

[Dr. Strange]

A few pointers, not to slam;
Check some of your words for spelling errors on word or similar programs,
Capitalize beginnings of sentences, names, and other such proper rules...


Other than that, it looks really good.

[PhantomStone]

u right guys, i'm gonna write this crap in word and then post it here instead of writing it all here in a burst after burst

[Dr. Strange]

There ya go! I'm glad I could help. If you need someone to help look over it and point out some things/give ideas, I'm here.

[Somebody]

Nice, I like how its turning out. Nice useage of my scalesona as well, you captured him fairly well. Strong fighter.

I look forward to seeing where this story goes

[PhantomStone]

really it's ok? i didn't make you sound sappy or anythiong

[Somebody]

I edited my previous message

I dont mind at all, sometimes its fun to read other people's useage of your character. So continue along the path you were planning to go

[lukeweedon1]

am i in this story any where?

[PhantomStone]

thanks for the responce tezztor and mortem, (and i'm working on it luke)


Trowa sat down for lunch at noon, brutally tired from the beating she had endured.

“Cheer up titan” the tall raptor said smiling and taking a seat next to his small friend. He had his own lunch of hearty stew with bread and veggies. He viciously attacked the stew; he was as hungry as all the other new pages. Even though he breezed through the lessions without even breaking a sweat

“One hour of warm ups” Trowa started pushups, sit ups, push pulls, and stretching exercises. “One hour of unarmed combat” all the pages stand in line and punch and block in time with the call of Lord James. “an hour of staff work” the same as unarmed combat but with staff’s “an hour of archery, and an hour on horseback” she
finished, she didn’t have a mount of her own, so she had taken a rough gelding well suited to her height, but extremely head strong, she had spent 20 minutes trying to get him to stand in line with the others.

“Awww come on, at least your were not late” Tezztor of Taku said pointing to a wolf sitting down alone; he was wearing red hose the color of his home fief. “That’s Luke, of feyrla” Tezztor said disgustedly. as though he had tasted something sour when he had expected something sweet. his eyes hardened as he glared at Luke his glassy green and blue eyes snapping with distaste

Trowa looked up at her friends sudden hostility to the small wolf sitting by himself, she was about to ask Tezztor a question but the bell chimed loudly. tezztor stood up stiffly and was out the door before trowa even knew he got up. In her haste to not be late for the rest of her day she swallowed the rest of her stew and food, and quickly ran back to her quarters. Once there she picked up her bag and filled it with what she needed and ran off to her first class, reading and writing. I hope tezztor is ok, what was with him

Trowa got to her class and took a seat in the back, the wolf Luke was there. She was about to say something but the priest who taught reading and writing walked in and started the lesion. her questioning would have to wait for later

[lukeweedon1]

thx (reads on) god i sound like a mean *******

[PhantomStone]

i just asked for cha. stuff this isn't u it's the charactor info u gave me