Loneliness, Anger and Suicide, my three friends

[.: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :.]

I wouldn't count this as a poem, more like my current feelings put onto a page

Loneliness, Anger and Suicide, my three friends

Your hatred burns like a thousand suns
The haze of the heat clouds your mind
You're tensed up like a loaded gun
You look inside yourself, and are shocked by what you find

Black clouds congregating
A slow plot forming
Your stood outside hell's gate 'n'
everyone who knew you are mourning for the
lost soul that's been drowned in anger

What is it that causes this pain? This hurt?
Loneliness?
Loss?
or how about when someone you thought you shared a special connection to
decides to throw it aside for an ex?
When they completely disregard your feelings as though your some insignificant little speck in
their near-perfect lives
or how about when your friends decide to turn their backs on you? They leave you to be 'cool'
they leave you alone
It seems as though they forgot you have feelings, as though they forgot all about you...your friends, the people you
would do anything for...they betrayed you in the most complete way...You want to cry and curl up in a ball, but anger
doesn't allow it

Revenge is sweet, how dare they do this to you
All you've ever been is kind, now it's time to change
kindness never gets you anywhere, it only helps ungrateful, pathetic lifeforms
and what do you get for this?
Betrayal and exile

All you've ever known is being an outsider, an outcast...unwanted by even your own family
it hurts, and it hurts bad
To know that you are doomed to be forever lonely
To know that you have been unwanted since birth
To know that you have to accept it, because the alternative is suicide

And you've been down that path, you know where it goes all too well
unfortunately you were stopped
But they didn't stop you because they cared, it was their job, and you guess that a guy with a 9 inch knife and cuts all
over his body would scare children

It hurts.
It hurts when you wake up the next day and nobody had even bothered to visit you, or anything
And it hurts when even after a week, nobody came
And do you know what hurts the most?

When you finally get out of hospital, and your girlfriend who you thought was the love of your life, has been flirting
and going out with one of your childhood friends...and she doesn't even seem to notice you...as if you became invisible
It hurts so much sometimes that you can't breathe, you can't think
You want to cry, but you've ran out of tears
and now? You're hated for a reason you don't understand, and you're picked on by people you once called friends

Now my only friends are Loneliness, Anger and Suicide

Loneliness, because it has always been there in my life
Anger, because it helps with the pain
Suicide, The comfort of knowing I can end it all whenever I wish.

[Chrono Blackwyng]

Snowy....just wow.... :shcoked:
can you PM to me what happened....and maybe I might be able to help?

[Arke]

*is just gonna hug you, cause it sounds like you need it.* :'(

[___]

 :shcoked:
...Yea, Chrono already asked, but you can always PM me if you need to talk, ok? (Hugs Snowy)

[.: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :.]

thanks, I appreciate this, just the fact that you say things like that mean alot to me

[Arke]

I've been there man. It hurts now, but it's times like these that you find out who really cares for you. If this girl wants to leave you, let her go. You're better off without her, and it's better she leaves now than further down the road. **** her. And talk to someone when you're ready. It helps, and it's not healthy to deal with this stuff alone.

[kayle]

The same as what they said, dude.  I've been there, too.  One of my friends who had been there helped me out of it.  He told me (and I quote):

"Dude, I used to write suicide notes as a hobby.  I used to cry myself to sleep every night.  I was on the edge of ending it, and I tried way too many times to count.  But I look at you and see you going the same path, and I can't stand it.  You're too good of a person to have to deal with that, and I'm here for you.  Don't do it.  It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you.  You are who you are, and the people that truly care wont want you to change to please them."

We're all here for ya, and I extend the same offer as everyone else.