I've started a comic

[Xleena]

UPDATE!!!

Sorry for the late upload today, but I honestly finished it last night!

I've seriously been punished the past few weeks in terms for work, I was surprised I even got this done!!

May I ask do people read my blog underneath the page? xxxx

Thanks for reading! xxx

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

I read it. I like hearing your creative thoughts.

also, still cant tell who's saying what when. 3 characters, 2 types of word balloon

[Xleena]

If you look really closely, you can see sapphires is more circular and precise, and vipers has round squared corners, with ever so slightly wavy lines.

Tell you what, next page i'll change Viper's speech bubble?

Thank you for reading it Asia haha

I really love the feedback I get, its a bit sad really.

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

either way, good comic, i like that things are rolling along well

[WingedZephyr]

About the speech bubbles:

I can see what Asia means, and I kind of agree. Perhaps it's because it wasn't very well established whose speech bubbles were whose to begin with, it's hard a bit hard to follow. If it was made crystal clear whose were whose, readers could understand, but it may detract from the story if they have to go through a few or even several pages before they can "get it". It might help to start using bubbles with "tails" when possible, instead of just the closed circles. You know, like this, to point to which character the text belongs to:



(I didn't draw that, just googled it.) As always, it's up to you whether or not you want to change the way you do anything. I'm just here to offer suggestions.

Oh, and I do read the blog as well, when I notice it's changed. Sometimes I forget to look at it since I think it's still an old post or something. But I usually do. It's always fun to read what the artist's been doing/thinking as the comic goes along.

[Xleena]

UPDATE!!!

A guest page is for you sweet readers this week! xxxx

[WingedZephyr]

Aw, it's cute.

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

look at you getting all famous with fanart and everything.
 either way, cool fun with fun expressions.

you want criticisms, I got one. The shading is a bit heavy handed. Makes things look like plastecine.

[Xleena]

No update this week, because I fail.
My computer hasn't worked for at least 4 days and I did half the page for this week but didn't like it! so hopefully, i'll be able to finish it for this week!
Its the end of chapter page, so its bound to be exciting! (maybe?)

hope you're not too dissapointed ('eh? didn't even realise') xxx

[Tweak]

New page is now up!

Definitely not to be missed!

[WingedZephyr]

Yayy, violence! lol

Getting pretty interesting. The only thing I feel like I should mention is that personally I'd be interested in seeing more characters where both of their eyes are shown. Almost all of the characters have half their faces hidden behind their hair, and it kind of makes me feel like it detracts from some of the emotion, makes them feel less human and less relatable. Maybe you're doing that on purpose because that has something to do with their personalities, and if so, of course that's fine. Not trying to tell you how to design your characters or anything. Eyes can express a wide variety of things though, sometimes even replacing the need for words, so it might just be helpful to play around with it. Even if you have a character whose hair falls over their eyes, it can always be blown out of their face for a panel or two by the wind or something. It could be fun to experiment.


And one thing I really like about the latest page is that the lines of your drawings seem to have gotten a lot cleaner. Makes it all look a lot more crisp and clear. Looking forward to more updates.

[Xleena]

Thanks for pointing that out Zeph, thats just what I was wanting you to think!
The first thing I ever learnt to draw properly was an eye- and I know what you mean by how powerful they can be-- check my story name, and you know i'm being naughty with it haha!

The chapters after these two will certainly bring personalities out, and i'll find you'll like them/hate them more hopefully.
Sapphire and Amethyst are to have their eyes covered indefinately-- but i wont reveal why (I did for sapphire afew pages back [I was a bit cheeky with it!], but that pair of eyes will be explained later).
For Ao his eye was covered up as to not give him much attention in the first chapter (he has normal eyes haha)
And for Miss Viper it was to take the emotion away. But you'll see her emotion soar in the next part of that!

BUT I'M TELLING TOO MUCH! No more for you!

Thank you for my sharper lines, I said I'd sort em out and I did; I was far more minute with detail this time, and its paid off a lot!!

I'll let you in on a little hint! Its back to Josaline and Ao in this chapter!


Always great to having you comment, you give me plenty to rant about Zeph. xxxx
(P.S. The graphical violence is dedicated to your honour as you enjoy it so! haha)

Also, I only finished the page last night and had to get the page up to not dissapoint y'all, so I still need to edit some of it (for example those STUPID PAGE 1 FOOTERS....!
I also need to put a watermark and 'end of chapter on'... I guess I just wanted everyone to see it! xxx

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

what the... well i certainly didnt expect that.

also, it's proper cool that you got some kind of eye/emotion idea going on. Most of the time, I dont put that much message into something visual.

I like the background, and the idea of the explosive entrance, though i think a plain block blue does work. Needs something more gritty, greyer to give the orange that much more RRRRAAARRR!

Either way.... interesting and unexpected. two things i like in life.

[Chrono Blackwyng]

the suddent abruptness was nice, but can I suggest you put more emotion into their facial features, like changing that smirk on viper into an open mouth thats curved downwards?

just a thought since I thought her reaction felt off from her dialogue

[Xleena]

I thought about doing that, but I decided against it. Even though she's worried you see, she's trying not to show it-- its not a smirk, but its her mouth moving akwardly, kinda like when I cry, I have a stupid grin on my face!
But when she confronts the mysterious person in the next chapter, it'll be pretty impossible to hide her feelings from her face.
My attentions may seem odd, but it'll all come together, I prmise you that!